Sunday, August 24, 2008


The badges are up! Go get the links and get them up all over! Im STOKED about the ability to get the word out. NOT ACCEPTABLE!!

We've been ready to go back to school since mid july. No waiting for "no sales tax" weekends, no making the "one big trip" cuz I work in retail, and I know, if you want it? You had better buying it THE SECOND it comes out....or as molly says i really hate the crowds and never have found the joy in shopping shared by so many of my peers.

First day of school?? Can't find the pencil box. Little pink one i picked up last year, tupperware style,and already full of pencils and colors. WHAT did she DO with it? I've been looking for it for 3 days, and it is NOT to be FOUND!!

This is the one she ended up starting the year with:


I got these personalized for the boys one year at the mall. It is at LEAST 10 years old, and has the wrong name on it...but we needed a pencil box! Oh yes, I DID run in to just buy another one (the sarge thought i was NUTS) but in my small town? THERE WERE NONE! I have torn this house apart trying to find the pencil has just disappeared. That happens alot.

I would like to post a bunch of pics in here of the new baby, or of molly...unfortunately I haven't got to springfield this week. Bill and Angela came home. The boys' father is visiting up there, as well as ally's dad!

I'm going to have to wait for a little more room. Poor kids, they should just install a revolving door! :0

I was looking at the pics in my camera, and was surprised to see they are ALL of the grand-kitty. I think the sarge likes the him way too much, and after watching him interact with bill?? I learned a new thing about him......HE'S A MAN CAT!

I provide the food....but he LOVESSSSSSSSSSSS the men! grrrrrrrr. He's a funny thing, he won't scratch you, but will fly past you (we call him Neo from the Matrix) and mid-air will BITE YOUR BUTT! eek!

I think his 'tude' is why Larry thinks he's OK!

"NO, you big oafs may NOT enter MY house!"


"Thanks for the new toy, Sarge, it's purrrrrrrrrfect"


"Brown Dog? if you even THINK about sniffing me, your NOSE is MINE!!"


I was able to catch a quick video of molly on my computer...she shows off at first, as soon as she sees the camera flip on.....but then focuses on working the mouse. She likes because all the shows are up there in little boxes, and as you run the cursor over them, they
call out their names! the quacking is the dora duck game, which needs click and she just lets it run in the background. She cracked us up at the end because she FAKES typing! I have heard WAY too many comments from my family about who she's mimicking.

We're on vacation this week. (should have been last week BEFORE school started, but things don't always happen the way you hope) and we should be installing the WAY OVERBOARD big-wooden-outdoor-playhouse-swing-rockwall-play center during THIS break!

I know, ive been saying that for 2 years but THIS TIME, it's going to HAPPEN!


The ones in-stock are NOT the ones i want! YIKES! AGAIN!

Oh...lookey comes molly ....she's walking out, and guess what is in her little hands??



We are currently watching the closing of the Olympics. I know about the poor treatment of the Chinese people, the horror of what happens to their babies...I've heard Rush SCREAMING his big boob mouth about WHY the networks aren't reporting on it....

Ya know what? I'm happy that for 2 weeks, the world can come together without screaming about anything, and that the media has minded their manners.(or been forced too)

Maybe, just maybe...SHOWING people how to act by example puts forth a stronger message than SHOUTING at them!


We continue to pray for Ben. The stemcells are in, and now the 'bottoming out' occurs. It will be a few weeks before the grafting shows improvement in his outward health. It is a very scary time. Please remember him, and his beautiful family in your prayers.

cp BenTheBrave

Sunday, August 17, 2008


ahhhhh yes..a subject near and dear to the hearts of parents
with kids like my Molly Kate....

nakey time

We've been blessed that she doesn't disrobe in public, but I've read horror stories
from other parents. She has attempted occasionally to 'break free' at school, and it's
always reported (Thank God) to me with humor...but the sharp eye of her teacher has prevented any disasters. (thanks Steph!)

The joy of being free of clothing....SOOOOOOO inappropriate in our
world today, yet a pure joy in the eyes of the constant child.

Molly and I went to Springfield this week to take over duties for
the new baby while her parents worked...and early one morning holding miss Aubrey propped-up in my folded knee, one hand trying to hold a camera, the other hand making sure my little "bobble head" didn't throw herself into a tumble...while simultaneously making "those gramma faces" that can elicit smiles from the nearly new born...i tried to capture it.

video!!! WOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!!!....i was so anxious to come and
post the video here, but alas....when watching it i see in the background,
fuzzy from focus but still viewable, my young daughter has awoken from
sleep....gone to the bathroom, and stripped. She's looking for sponge bob
on the television in the background of my awesome shot and??? IT'S NAKEY TIME!!

so no video for you...GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR next time....but take some great
still photos

Here's that smile...this one given to daddy:


Aubrey Jo is constantly monitored, and showered in love from her Aunt Molly Kate:


Her little onsie says "this IS my little black dress" and as you can see, the
interest goes both ways.....


The big ugly babe gets a shout out...and is also well cared for with ALL the goodies
miss Aubrey has amassed!


Molly Kate constantly reminds me that we are human. Pure and Simple,
we are gifts from the Creator. Our bodies by society standards need to be
covered, but Home? home is the place we get comfy. To adults, that would
mean sweat pants and an oversized tee-shirt. To the more 'enlightened"?
Nakey Time!!!

We as a society view nudism as funny, sexual or at worst... shameful. I'm seeing it in a whole new light thru my child.

It just is.

She is totally oblivious to Magazine Covers...cares not what her body fat ratio is,
would RATHER we didn't comb her hair. She does have quite the fashion sense, and
we do argue about some outfits...but primarily over the outfits comfort! (no tight
jeans and too small shirts for this girl! YAY!)

IT'S NOT IMPORTANT...WE SHOULDN'T CARE -That is the message Molly
sends to me. As a society, we pay out millions to alter our features, buy diet drugs,
and on psychiatrists trying to help us cope with the inner-self-loathing we have
for our bodies. Good Health? Oh yea, that's important, but the impact socio-economically that the 'perfect face' and the "perky boobs" seems to be MORE important! Just try interviewing for a job if you need proof!

So we do care.

Everyone cares...except Molly. Molly sees YOU. She doesn't care whether your outfit
came from the Good Will Store or was designed by Ralph Loren. She doesn't care
if your face is scarred from fire, or your hair is gone from Chemo. She sees YOU.

Our Children come directly from the sparkle of God's Eye. They are a reminder to
all of us what He intended when he created Humanity and we should Honor them
for that contribution to this messed-up world. They are the Ultimate example
in so many ways of what we should strive to be.

We shouldn't use the word "retard" to describe something less than the beauty
that is our special children.

Join me in the cause


This week marks more of life in all it's glory and heartbreak.

The Glory
Little Ben's MRI has been viewed by many specialists.

They are preparing for a stem cell transplant which includes a HORRIBLE phase of chemo.
Cancer treatment is always SO devastating to the recipient, and parents Always question
their part in the torture..."Is This Worth the Pain?"

This week we receive news that the tumors? are biopsies on
them can be performed as THEY ARE GONE!


Please continue to pray for them as the walk through the valley of chemotherapy...And Praise
God for a bit of good news to carry them through to Bennie's total healing.

CP BenTheBrave

The Heartbreak

Susan's mom died. Scary because we're the same age. Scary because she was not ill...had no warning. That's 2 in 2 weeks and weighs heavily on the minds of all of us in this small communtity....especially all of us baby boomers.

Susan was a childhood friend of my shauna. I have always adored her. She also,
saw no need for fashion....fought wearing dresses preferring basketball shorts and hi-topped tennis shoes. She was ornery...but in the purest sense of the word, and had that sparkle of humor that made you smile, no matter WHAT situation had just happened. You just know that both her parents raised these children in love and humor.

Her parent were heavily involved in raising everyone's taught 25 years at a rural was a referee for all schools, preferring the younger kids' basketball games. They are founding members of our community, have a blueberry patch open to all, as well as an open door to their home and hearts. BEAUTIFUL FAMILY.

Mom, Rosa Leah, fell ill with what she thought was the flu....turns out it was her heart, and we lost her on Wednesday.....again, totally unexpected.

As Susan and i talked, her swollen eyes turned to her youngest, who was 'cruising' his way to a cookie. I watched little Cooper attempt to sneak the cookie and steal a glance to see if his mommy was watching.... and in doing so the twinkle returned to Susan's eyes.

It was the same twinkle i saw in Rosa Leah's eyes whenever we discussed how all that toilet paper made it into my trees.

So, all of you I love so dearly....Enjoy this it with all the vigor and happiness you can. Cherish each moment....and remember to treat each other with respect.

Regardless on how we look...we all have contributions, we are all worthwhile in our being here, we are all Creations of God.

I'll end with my most favorite quote...I am sorry I don't know the author of it...

"Respectful support begins with the recognition that individuals with disabilities are not abnormal or deficient but, instead, reflect the normal diversity of the human community"

Thursday, August 14, 2008

F*** Ben Stiller and his gang of HATE ADVOCATES!

I am pissed beyond words...

I am SO SICK of people not understanding, and hiding behind the 1st amendment
to advocate HATE!

as IF!!

Its like when HITLER defended his quest for the perfect race! Yea, that's right
stiller...i just compared YOU to HITLER!!

Stiller is quoted as saying "he didn't MEAN to offend anyone"


you wanted to make money at the expence of every child who is not PERFECT LIKE YOU!
(and today, I feel blessed that Molly is not ANYTHING LIKE YOU!)

Just the fact that you would PREY on the disabled for A BUCK?? How broke are you?? Or is it
an EGO'd do ANYTHING to see your face plastered all over the media?

What kind of MONSTER ARE YOU????

I WILL NEVER watch ANYTHING these jerks are associated in again!

Not that jerk Ben Stiller, or Jack Black (who should be banned from ANYTHING having to do with children) and their FREAK-BUDDY, TOM CRUISE!!


You just lost a customer and ALSO should be banned from having anything to do with children.


Sunday, August 10, 2008

The Carousel

Up and down...up and down...complete with nauseating music that is too loud and seems never-ending!! This life sometimes gets spinning so fast sometimes I just want to jump and run.....but over there? A rollercoaster!! Damn!

I am at the point in my life, that I'm desperately seeking the bench in the shade away from the midway.

No Mas! No Mas!

It seems order to survive with no heartbreak, you'd have to quit work, move to a mountain top, have no more contact with the outside world.....share no laughs....cease feeling anything whatsoever. This seems to be the only alternative to major heartbreak....and the lows seem SO much lower..when proceeded by the highs. We are just having too many highs now to go join the Dahli Lama, but I always keep that option open....and some weeks try to avoid anything that may cause me pain. Sometimes it is just unavoidable. Sometimes Life Sucks!

This week marks the first swimming lesson. Molly Kate was definitely uncomfortable with no floatie, meeting a stranger to entrust, and seemed to contemplate her own immediate future as we waited for him to arrive.


She warmed up to him soon enough, and almost enjoyed herself. She was very uncomfortable with him touching her belly (trying to lift her into proper floating position) and although it was detrimental to the warms a mom's heart. "Hey! not just ANYONE can touch my tummy like that!" To all parents, particularly emphasized in parents of children with special needs, that boogeyman weighs heavy in the back of our minds. It's great to see that she recognizes an uncomfortable feeling...and reacts to it.

No worries with this young man. HE IS AWESOME! Matt is the son of my ex-lawyer, who became judge. He also attends college, works the register in the pharmacy part-time, and is a lifeguard. He is as pure as a man-child can be, without being enhanced with that extra chromosome, and has been insistent on getting a few lessons in with Molly before he embarks to his new life in China. He's been accepted into a gifted college exchange program for a couple of semesters, and we are all so proud of him. I truly believe he should take me with him, as I worry that he could be taken advantage of, given his spirit......but like the rest of my kids you just stand back and watch them fly. Matt will be famous one day, I know it. A personality like his shines like a lighthouse beam in this foggy world.



Kelsi was down this week. She is the epitome of teenagerness....and sooooooooooo intelligent! I cannot wait to see what she's going to be when she makes that turn into adulthood. It's so exciting to see them at the last jump before the plunge. I'm sure it will be spectacular. We took her back to KC on Friday, and I rode along to Springfield and jumped off there to get my 'baby fix' for the week.

Little Aubrey Jo is growing so fast...if I take a weekend off, she's a whole new person when I get there! She has my chin (or lack of one) poor little thing, but somehow I think she will be Way Beautiful despite it! I didn't think I would ever want to wish it on anyone, but now? I beam with pride in looking at it, in seeing my genetic markers continue on in another generation. It is an AMAZING feeling. SHE'S A MILLER!!

She is now mimicking daddy's faces, and he can cajole the BIG GOOFY GUMMY GRINS outta her!


That's something that even the wonder-mommies can't do.

We are the providers, Ally...take heart...there is no one EVER going to be, what those two are together, daddy & daughter. I know it's frustrating, because I look everyday at my "Little Trooper" Molly Kate.

She goes to daddy for love, and fun and laughs...and comes to me when she's hungry. She says "Daddy" lovingly....but calls me "I" in a demanding sort of way. She can point her finger at you and say "Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhush" determinedly (giving orders like dad)....but refuses to tell me "I love you". Such is our lot in life. We, the mommies, the ouch fixers, the Kool-Aid makers, the ones that understand that bread has no place in the life of a hot dog. NOT FAIR!! :-)

I particulary loved it that molly was so willing to introduce the big ugly the little beautiful one:


and just WHEN did they start making swimming suits this little???


Oh, and all that lovey-dovey stuff seems to carry over to cats, I guess. This is Hattin, letting the sarge know JUST how much HE was missed on our Friday trip!!


The only contact I seem to have with him, is an occasional bite, and kitty-screaming if I'm running the canopener! The two cats have managed to reach an accord, though...when it comes to naptime. It seems the only molly and dog free part of the house is now a "no-fighting" zone....that is molly's bedroom where the important things in life -like a good nap- can be acheived:


The Breaking News of the week? My parent's have finally succumbed to the constant nagging of their daughters...and have agreed to move in with us. 6 months here in the mild Ozark winters (we still have an occasional snow, but NOTHING like the poundings mother nature delivers to central Nebraska) and in the summers? They'll migrate to Colo Spgs with my eldest sister...they'll get to forgo the joys of tornado season, and the dog days of summer which this week?? ARE FINALLY OVER!!!! YIPEEE!!!!!!! More on this story later!

And regarding the wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy downside of this weeks Carousel ride:

Another guy from work...Gordon Voelschow:


Gordon is an asst manager at the store. We met about 15 years ago, when he came to build the new supercenter. I absolutely adored him from the git-go! He's one of those guys who, when you run up to him and yell THE STORE'S ON FIRE!! would just smile, change directions, and walk toward the fire extinguisher in the same determined step he had been before.... and maybe flip back a funny story on his way. A no worries....don't take yourself so serious - we'll handle this kind of guy. He was just a few years older than me, but seem to have all the answers - while I'm still struggling with the questions! It surprised me he didn't whistle the Bobby McFerrin "Don't Worry, Be Happy" tune while he worked.

I saw him in the back last week, right after I got my latest Aubrey pictures developed, and said "heya Jordan, (don't know why, but it was his pet name from me) have you seen my grandbaby lately??" He laughed, made fun of me as he let the grandchildren pics flow out of his wallet...and teased me about having only one. The one thing about this man that always stood out, was the love/pride/joy he had for his family. He glowed whenever his wife was with him in the store...teased her unmercifully...and she always was smiling.

He loved his black cowboy hat, his boots, his horses, and something I didn't his off time (really none at all when you're in management) he donated that time and those horses to hippotherapy for children with special needs. HE DIDN'T TELL ME THAT!

Of course, that's Gordon....walking that determined pace...doing everything for everyone - changing lives and loving every second but never bragging about it. He definitely did not fit the pattern of a Walmart Manager.

Gordon went to the Poplar Bluff Walmart to oversee a remodel there. It was Day 2 for him, Wednesday, when he went to take a break, and dropped on the stairs of a (we think) massive heart attack....Lights Out-Party's over. No Goodbyes, No Fanfare...just gone.

Godspeed Gordon.

It IS true when they say "the good die young" Take heart, all of you that have lost little ones....the ultimate guardian just made angel ranks, and your kids could not be in better hands there. We will miss him immeasurably...and stuggle to understand that his work has to continue, just in a different place.

We are jealous that THAT place is Heaven and we have to remain here, anxiously awaiting the Ultimate Reunion.

Lesson for the week:

Take the time to tell your friends, workmates, and all those people that make you smile everyday, just how much you appreciate them. They make the ride bearable.

And make sure that when you speak of your family...EVERYONE knows how much you love them. Let the world see that seems easier to complain about who broke what, or who SAID what...but do we GLOW when we speak about them?? we should...if not for all the right reasons, then...

In honor of Gordon.

Sunday, August 03, 2008

just DO IT DO IT DO IT!!

It's been a lazy weekend for us, and a welcomed week of no trips, and no cleaning up from trips! I should be scouring the house and giving it the attention it desperately needs, but for the last day or so have concentrated on cleaning the pool...watching movies (the other bolyn girl...awesome) and playing with molly.

She is CONSTANTLY on the move...we are in the middle of our 'dog dayz'... the temps hit over 100 yesterday, so just like blizzard season, we are confined to the house during the day. Missing school and the constraints of the heat have just about sent her over the edge!

She has come up with some new 'larryisms' though. She brought me an empty ice cream cone while i was hauling a basket of laundry. I told her to take it to daddy, and immediately hear him say "Make Mommy Do It!" (he antagonizes any situation for fun)

She promptly brings the cup back to me and says as plain as day...." DO IT!"


a few hours later, when i sit to check my email, she pulls me from the chair. I stand and tell her to stop dragging me around and just 'say it with your mouth' when she snipes my computer chair.

She touches the monitor (yes all the new LCD's have been properly inundated with little fingerprints) and says "Dora....Do It!"

She likes the noggin webpage. She cant click well enough to play games unassisted, but they have a scrolling header with all their shows in little squares at the top, and if you roll the mouse over them...the name of the show is announced. DORA THE EXPLORER....LITTLE BEAR..OSWALD! and so on....she loves it, and it's teaching her beginning 'mousing'.

Again, i am please that two more words are added to her vocabulary....although the emphatic "DOITDOITDOITDOIT" in an emergency...i.e. getting her some juice, is quickly losing it's novelty for me......but not, of course, for her father.

The rest of the kids are quiet, my parents are home, safe and sound, as is shauna (despite united airlines best effort)I miss the baby this weekend, and her fabulous parents, and by the sound of Bill's voice yesterday...he's up to his neck in work.

So I'll take today, try to get my act together, but more probably will play with molly, stay calm and snuggly and enjoy the quiet of the little house in the woods. Larry is off to pick up miss im sure that is ALL going to change by this evening!

On the pure humor side of my life, i am in love with the editor of our small town, every day but sunday, comes in the mail a day late newspaper...the West Plains Daily Quill....this is an example of our op/ed: howwwwwwwwww embarrassinggggggggggg and hilarious!!


The week also marks the passing of 2 of the carepage kids we pray for:

jordyn laura

and david crider

Pediatric Cancer continues to be the 1 killer of our children. The time for us to gather as parents and take action is NOW!! This is a note from AJ's dad....take a second and respond....for the sake of the children, or as molly would say...just DOIT DOIT DOIT!! (and thank you for 10 seconds of your busy WILL make a difference.)

I'm AJ's Dad.

I wish I had no story to tell. Our AJ, my best friend in the whole world, was only 14 years old when he left us on January 5, 2008, a victim of childhood cancer. It still seems unreal to type that. Our world will never be the same.

So I started this because I, like many of you, am frustrated at the sheer lack of awareness and funding for childhood cancer. The idea behind the petition is simple; collect one million signatures to challange the major TV networks to create a special devoted solely to childhood cancer. It's a story you don't hear. Yet it impacts 1 in 300 of our children, and is the 1 killer disease of our kids.

So this is real. This is happening. We have momentum. But we need your help. Here's how you can help:
Sign the Cure Childhood Cancer Petition."

There is no going back. We can't un-know what we know about childhood cancer. So, to change it, we each have to DO SOMETHING. Remember, "You get what you give".

We love you Age, AJs Dad CarePage –