Tuesday, September 27, 2005

not the best day..invested a BUNCH into a hypnotherapist.....been trying to quit smoking for over 2 months now....

all ive managed to do, is put on 20 pounds...and be in a bad mood most of the time....still smoking though...CRAP!! although i have cut down a bit...

i want so badly to join the ranks of the holier-than-thou non-smokers...i hate everything about it...especially the control it has over me....but NOT smoking...sends me into a psychotic episode...

and while im thinking about...God bless my ole man, he puts up with alot!!

anyway...i got under...i know i did...it just didnt take

molly had a great day at school, while mommy was away being stupid....she keeps right up with the other kinders, if you don't count speech or writing....

gabe and shauna (college boy and law school girl) both called to see how i did....what a disappointment i feel i am to both kids...who both closet smoke, btw....


Sunday, September 25, 2005

well...lets see if i can do this again...tried to spell check, and lost my entire post....and thats me in a nutshell!!

im e...mom to seven in a blended family, the youngest, molly kate, having down's syndrome. we refer to it as trisomy 21,( T-21) and will do so from now on, the above just for you newbies.

i live in southern missouri, with the above-mentioned skunk, and the senior skunk, who is mostly referred to as 'the sarge'. He retired from the state patrol to follow his dreams, rebuild a classic car, tournament bass fish, and relax and let the last 35 years of law enforcement escape his psyche.

but him and his reckless sperm, now attend kindergarten parent-teacher meetings, pack lunches and backpacks, and has learned how to COCK- a -DOODLE- DO, with the WIGGLES!

(we just got the champion boat recarpeted....so he'll be back on the fishing tourney stuff soon)

Im still working 40 hours plus a week, and desperately want to retire from THAT job....but, you know, insurance, $$$$$ and the like...im gonna have to do the 'oprah' thing soon, and just dive into what i want to do!! and hopefully make a little money at it!!

problem is...i really don't know what it is i want to do when i grow up......i have lots of ideas...but just won't take the leap. i am working on it though...one day....i swear...one day.

i put the word DOWN'S SYNDROME up fast and first...so that those of you that are dealing with this diagnosis, may stumble upon this blog, and trust me...all the answers you are seeking will be in here....

the main answer right now is STOP WORRYING YOU DID NOTHING WRONG...and that we are a very typical family...molly kate is 5 years old, and in a typical kindergarten class...

she has her 'things', but they do not differ from any other of the 6 before her...all typical kids. EVERY KID has their 'things' (Bill, at 19 yrs old, STILL cannot have his food touched! and law-school girl, shauna, never has a cold, she is always sure it's NOSE CANCER!) heheheheh

like with any other kid, (or husband) you compensate for whatever 'thing' it is, and go on to live your life.

the main message???? it's gonna be fine...life is gonna be fine...and along the way...you are going to become a better person....

you'll be more tolerant of ANYONE who is not just like you....you'll make new and lasting friends....you'll become more educated, and doctors will learn to fear you! :-)

the one thing that people who dont deal with this, don't seem to understand, is that THERE IS REALLY NOTHING WRONG WITH HER!! jeeez...the only difference between molly kate and the rest of the block, is that at birth (which by the way these babies are THE most beautiful babies in the world, so you newbies can stop worrying about THAT, too!!) molly couldnt do the things that typical babies do, by nature....ie she had to TEACH herself to hold her head up high...she had to TEACH herself to sit up....things that just come naturally to others.

the really great thing about that...is that EVERY accomplishment she drives for....and lemme tell ya, this little skunk gets on MISSIONS...every single accomplishment is a celebration...you have never felt such pride for any child!!

more later, im gonna go put the finishing touches on this, and then clean up the disaster area i used to call my formal living room.....(just had a neighbor stop by and catch me without a bra, and wading through toys to answer the front door)

ahhhhhhhhhhhh yes, this is my life,