Saturday, April 26, 2008

i give UP!!


This is my livingroom. See the purple-dora-foldout-basket-toybox-thingy in the background? She's unloaded and dumped it in the livingroom...and she is just pleased as punch.

She likes it this way.

I had gathered up all of the crap, that should have been tossed, and put in that purple thingy in the spare bedroom. The crap had somehow migrated into there. It has a zipper on it, and since the school reports that she can't operate a zipper, i felt that it was safe until i got time to sort through it.

The school was WRONG!

Most of her GOOD toys have been sorted, binned, and hidden. But nothing ever stays hidden from molly very long. We let her have one bin at a time...and try to make her pick it up and put it away when she's done...and i swear, you would think she'd CALL WELFARE!!


She's happiest when she can just walk around, stumbling on top of them, and playing with them at her liesure! I have actually cried out in pain when impelling a LEGO on the heel of my foot!

It's making mommy very tired, frustrated, and ready to give up on picking them all up again, why? It's just going to look like this again tomorrow!

Unless i resort to handcuffing her to a chair...she is on the move. While i'm picking up the livingroom..she will be redecorating the bedroom...afterall...those pillows, sheets and comforters really do belong on THE FLOOR! it makes it easier to spread out...maybe with some cheetos or pretzels...

Has anyone else ever had to VACUUM THEIR SHEETS???? As far as I know, Jackie O in the whitehouse and i are the only two women in the world that change their sheets twice a day...AND SHE HAD SOMEONE TO DO IT FOR HER!!

I don't EVEN want to talk about her bedroom!!....suffice to say, when i clean...i devote one day, to any particular room. ONE WHOLE DAY! and i'm lucky to see it stay that way for the following week.

I just wanted yall to know that, in case you ever feel like dropping by, and i'm going gaga and there is no where to sit!

This week, she stayed in school all week, with no bugs/flus/sniffles/tornadoes/floods or earthquakes to disrupt it! YAY!

It was a tough week, though, and I'm really not sure what all went on...i just know that Missouri Map Tests were occuring....molly got to opt out, after making it painfully clear that she would NOT participate. I do understand that there was teeth involved in this.

And speaking of...she is short one tooth on the bottom row! where it is, or when it happened seems to be a mystery to all....or they aren't admitting to it. :-) Gotta love the teachers!

At the completion of the testing (which she had to switch rooms to allow the other students to test in peace...and as you other parents know...changing routines is NOT GOOD) all of her class got kicked out of spec ed. rooms... so that they could test the incoming Kindergartners up there!

Hopefully, we'll all be back on track next week. The IEP is set for mid-may, and I'm sure we can count on a whole blog devoted to that, as i cannot stand hearing how the other kids like molly are doing so much better than her! (you cannot compare kids like ours...they are each their own little flower)

I always walk away feeling guilty that we didnt go ahead and have that second baby...sibs seem to spur advancement, and guilty that i am not forcing her to work hard enough at home.

An IEP is the year-end review and planning for next year, and you rarely walk away feeling good about her progress or her schooling. We need to change that.

I still try not to look at the age of what they estimate she is operating at....although that is going to have to start happening, if i'm to make good decisions. They absolutely can not test her for those she won't be tested! They do know, thankfully, how smart she IS! but what they know, and getting it on paper for the state...are 2 different things.

Then of course, we will make the decision to advance her to second grade...or let her stay another year in 1st grade.


So enters spring, and the flurry of the end of a school year. We have signed her up for summer school...and she will continue the T's there (OT/ST)...but summer school is chaotic, and she doesn't understand why it changes so much....still second guessing that decision. (It's classes combined for fun-study...with all lower grades participating, and upper grades get points for helping with the fun-study. Any other student would love it, and there is a big trip to Silver Dollar City at the end for those that keep with it....but molly just doesn't get it! To her its too different to be fun! UGH!)

As an example to the pig-headedness...last night i put some pineapple/walnut/creamy dessert on her tongue to try...i knew she'd LOVE IT! Molly is so against trying anything new...she ran around with her tongue stuck out, until she found a towel, and could WIPE IT OFF!

she's just like daddy. UGH!


I've met some new moms in here, and thru the youtube video..and that's exciting! I like to reach out and take a little bit of the fear out of the new arrivals! WELCOME NEW FRIENDS! (and please forget everything you just read! ha!)

Gabe got all A's and one B for the semester end, and at last check Ally's scare of gestational diabetes is NOT happening..aubrey jo is getting ready to make her final approach to landing. (end of june-4th of july)

Bill got into a scuffle trying to stop a runner! (bail bond skipee) He seemed almost proud of his scrapes! EEK! See bill...there is still a football career for you! NICE TACKLE (that's the fake mommy, trying to be supportive)

And for my prayers circle....

This past week sees the funeral of a 12 yr old who lost the battle with the beast....and the notice of another that the trials they signed up for are not working. They will make the decision to take that 16 month old home with hospice this coming week.


Cancer sux! But we still beg for prayers for all that are involved with it. And if you have the chance to donate? Do so, generously. Thank you.

Now...onto the housecleaning! wish me luck! Hey Sarge!!...where DO you keep those handcuffs????

Sunday, April 13, 2008

All this water, and i can't get a BATH!!

I'm never going to get into the bathtub. We've been so busy, oversleeping, working hard...but no opportunity for a bath? THAT'S the last straw!


We went to Springfield to work on pop's house. Now, we do this every month. Pop died in 2004.

Grief is a difficult thing to handle, at best...and sometimes it just keeps on keeping on. I am thankful that 4 of the 5 siblings are traveling in to make it happen, but 4 years of maintaining an empty house is just about enough. Any inheritance to be had has been ate up in a probate attorney, utilities, insurance...etc. It's too bad that 1 out of 5 had to be such a jerk....amazing and one of those "i would have never believed it" kind of stories. I hear it's quite common and will take measures to make sure that my children never have to have these feelings and obligations in the event of our deaths.


This week we have had one tornado, another rash of flooding and more rain (we've already received 1/2 of our annual rainfall for the year) and yesterday? we worked and drove home in the snow...SNOW in MID-APRIL!! I am totally tired of this mess. They actually dismissed school at noon on Thursday because of the flash flooding. This is an outhouse in Tecumseh park (across the hiway from the river) and as you can see, our wells and ground water have been comprimised also.


It is so unusual to us, that boys had to be rescued from the usually dry creek bed as school got let out, and what better way to spend a free afternoon than kayaking a usually dry creek!?! EEK! We did have one 14 year old swept away in Winona, which is not the first to be lost. I am SO ready for a real spring.


After a day of tearing down a ceiling, and getting to visit with gabe who came to help and hang out...we head home, filthy and tired and anxious to get a hot bath and watch "the memory keeper's daughter" and the sarge of course, is happy that the nascar race is late...gonna be a snuggle bunny evening, with snow flying, in a warm house.


We pull in and the attny neighbor is out walking his dog...he was on his way over to see if we had power.

Nope...we don't.

I'm not sure what happened, but in between tornadoes and floods and snow, eventually something had to give, and it was the power...and it was off the entire evening until everyone was asleep.

We live in the when there is no power, there is no water (well's need power) so one of us is not sleeping, cuz who can SLEEP with this much DIRT ON THEM???

It really wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. Miss Molly was not understanding the concept of no power, and was as upset at no 'spongebob' as Larry was at no NASCAR! It was only when she opened the fridge did she get it figured out....and of course, we had to save the ice cream, so that made it better.

I got the battery radio, and there was an oldies station playing 70's music all night...which
were fun songs for her to sing with me, as they had such ditsy lyrics. We all jumped into mom's big ole bed, cuz it was CHILLY and dark! (i'm talking 7pm) I think the sarge was a little more tired than he let on, from all the physical work at the house, and the excellent steak dinner afterwards... sleeping at 7pm didn't seem too big of an inconvenience.

Gabe had come to meet us at pop's house, help with the ripping out of the ceiling, and snuggle with Molly Kate. she LOVVVVVVVVES her 'babe'.


I'm not sure, but i got the feeling he needed some family-time too. His new baby is due in june, and I see the wear of the final trimester in his brow. I don't know how to make him understand that this 3 months will be "memory-eased' in time, and the joy he is about to experience will far outweigh any stress that he's now incurring.

I can't wait for the day...I can't wait to see the joy and the heart swell that happens when you look upon your first child. I think I'm more excited to see Gabe's face, than in seeing little Aubrey Jo....

That feeling is too amazing for words. It makes your life complete. It is your life. It is what you live for, and nothing else compares, or matters in that one second. Those realizations seem to happen immediately, and I'm anxious to see Gabe's face when it hits him! *beam*

Molly and I chose to make shadow puppets on the ceiling of the bedroom, wavy from the candlelight...and she passed out about 8pm. I make a mean german shep dog shadow and she squeals in delight when he barks! It really turned out to be a nice evening.

The music on the mono radio reminded me of days gone by...and while they slept i drifted off to memories of high school and college , and wondered about all the friends i loved then....and how they were doing. I was a rowdy teen and young adult...and also wonder if they would ever believe where i am now in my life.

I saw a light pop on at 154 laps to go....woke the sarge who got to enjoy his race, and went to shut down the house. I was very grateful to hear the heater kick on. We have a generator we can drag out in life-threatening situations...but the house was above 60 degrees, and that was easily handled with a big comforter, some candlelight and 3 in a bed.

I forgot about the memory keeper's daughter...and will have to catch that one later...everyone said it was great!

Little Bill is in town for the weekend....We did a 3 hour tour of the flood damage. Went to Norfolk Lake and Mountain Home, Arkansas...back thru Dawt Mill and Tecumseh and then finally to our River...which was barricaded shut...we had to hop the fence to go get pictures.


I just learned that the conservation department has pulled all 'regatta' licenses..meaning that for the first time in my 20 years here, there will be no fishing in the ozarks. Amazing...the 3 big lakes are all at capacity and several towns will have to be flooded for the bigger good. It's just dangerous.

This past week also marks the celebration of the birth of MY first born. Those feelings never stop, you know. It's been difficult to let her go at best, and I know she won't understand it until she lets HER first one go.... i think that since the day i delivered her and all through my life, letting her fly from the nest and make her own life has been the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

If i could wish one thing, it would be for ALL my kids to understand that when I look at them now, I feel the same way that i did when the Doctor first handed them to me....they are simply amazing, and the best thing that's every happened in my life.

Happy Birthday, Shauna!