Friday, July 11, 2014

Broken Hearts

wow. just wow. sometimes life is soooo cruel you can be left just breathless, numb in the brain in & in so much pain you don't know what to do.
That's when you call your sister. It's a long story...

A couple of years ago, i opted for implants in my mouth. I have fought these horrible teeth my entire life..braces, fillings, partials, crowns, root name it. So when my aging teeth started to act up I decided to just replace i don't have to deal with this for at least a decade.

Well, at least I thought so, until just before the holiday. Yep..lost a crown, and had horrible pain. I didn't think a crown could cause that kind of misery, so i thought maybe i had a sinus infection.....allergies have been a real pain this year. After a couple of days I realized...IT WAS THE IMPLANT! Danged thing was loose. AUUUGHHH!!

Had to wait till the Monday after the 4th to call the doc...they would see me the next day. Nope, it'll have to be Wednesday, I'm already booked for Tuesday with Dad's appt's.(The timing will be important later)

Then? I had received some really disturbing news from the western edge of the state. My online friend Leah Baker in Joplin's girl Ashton, just turned 23, and was really ill. Leah and I have been friends 2009, Ashton was elected homecoming queen at her school, the first as far as i know, and Leah got involved in FB, so things really took of for us!  photo IMG_94022059821708.jpeg Ashton, being nearly a decade older than my Molly, also enhanced with Down Syndrome & Autism, was always a source of hope, entertainment, and a peek into my own future. She had recently been diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's also, which was heart breaking, but I had really not witnessed any of that. She was still the same ole, sweet and sassy firecracker of a girl...just like my molly.
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The way her mom interacted with her taught me about humor, acceptance, and of course, the unconditional love that only a parent of a child with special needs can know. Leah was so involved with activities with Ashton, it put me to shame...i tend to wait for the backup of big brothers when deciding on big activities with molly as she is strong enough now, if things go south, you need to have a couple of he-men around to get her up and moving again. Not my brave Leah...she just went for it.

Monday, Leah went to check on Ashton, and she was complaining of a tummy ache, a bad one. Now, as parents of kids with DS know...when your child is complaining of pain? IT REALLY HURTS. Molly would almost have to break something before you understood she was 'hurt, boo boo"

Leah, immediately took Ash to the Doc, (caregivers had said "probably just a virus") but mom knew better, and then the doc also was concerned and sent them into the E.R. for some testing...routine routine routine..and then? the world tipped a bit.

Ashton's oxygen sats dropped...low...dangerously low. They are trying to run every test available to figure out WHY WHY WHY...but then she dropped way too low, and they were forced to try a bi-pap with her. (a bi-pap is a full face mask that BLOWS oxygen in, forcing your lungs to accept it. It's VERY invasive but does the trick)

Let me insert here, that this is the same route my mom was taking in Dec. A unexplainable crash. It would happen occasionally, but, with her, a couple of days inpatient with fluids and all would be fine. In my heart I was hoping that this would be the same with Ashton.

So...back to Wednesday. I have to drive up to Springfield because I live in the woods. If you want access to something a special as an implant specialist, you have to travel a bit. I'm pretty irritated about having to make this trip, but started thinking and  looking at google maps and see that Joplin is only an hour west of Spg and begin to toy with the thought of running on over. Sent a message to Leah making sure it was ok, and to get the name of the Hospital.

Ashton couldn't tolerate the bi-pap mask & high pressure of it, something I understood as well, as neither could my mom. Leah had posted that they had to vent her (always scary...even just the word) and I expected to walk into an ICU room, and dive back into bizarro hospital world. I expected to see a comatose young woman, and hear the irritating sound of the whishhhhh of a vent.
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When i did walk in, Leah had stepped out, Maw maw was sitting next to Ashton's bed, head down ...and as my eyes moved up to gaze at this girl i have come to love ...and preparing myself for the worst??? I saw something else. I saw the child with vent installed, but she was not unconscious. In fact, she turned, looked at me, eyes lit up and smiled and her little hand moved up and waved.

All my apprehensions disappeared as I also broke into a grin, and startled maw maw because i was ELATED to see she had made that turn...the turn for the GOOD!  WOOHOOO LOOK AT YOUUUU!!

We chatted and yes, Ashton had indeed popped out of the dark and back into our world, and she was a bit irritated with her current circumstances. Some candy striping boob came in with a tray of food and left it in the room..Ash started pointing at it and getting VERY excited...we had it removed immediately, but it warmed my heart that she was hungry. She got just as excited when the doc was in.....there was a pizza commercial on TV she kept pointing out....she was STARVING. She looked right at her doctor and signed "finished"  The three women laughed because we knew she was saying she was ALL DONE with this situation. Get this hose out of my throat, get me some food, and then DISCHARGE...i wanna be HOME!

Doc was just as happy, and told us he would get that tube out pronto. He wanted to leave her in ICU for the night, just to make sure, but that she would travel to a regular room in the morning if all went well.  The extubation got postponed for another emergency in the ICU, in the next room so we were aware it was going to be awhile.

 photo 642135e7-f291-45cf-857e-bc532ecc665a.jpg I sat with Ash for awhile...reaching to rub her palm...something that settles my molly right down, and the last thing we do at night to help her drift off. They confirmed that that was also Ashton's sweet spot. She kicked off her sheets and got a foot rub, too. We laughed over the few words our two girls used, but the demand that came with them. When molly wants me to take a second and really listen to her, or wait for her, she says "MaMinute" (one minute) Leah tells me Ashton puts one hand out, the other on her hip and says "FIVE minutes!"  photo IMG_93791865254361.jpeg Either way, we both know we need to take a second and that it is IMPERATIVE that we do so, NOW!
She grew tired & was still upset about being hungry, asked for the TV to be turned off...and i decided to make an exit as I didn't want to be a source of busy to her if she needed to rest. Besides...i also had exhaled a deep sigh of relief knowing that she was going to be OK. She got to be extubated eventually, and she got to eat. YAY!

Up until this moment, there was still no reason for her crash. They had been in process of testing when it happened but had to react instead of being pro-active. No one even imagined what was coming.

By the time i got home there were messages...Ashton was again in danger. She's spiked a fever and was declining fast....and then the doc revealed the news...the same news the doctors had told me last November.. We're sorry...but she's just giving out. Her body can no longer sustain life without serious intervention. When the heart weakens, the o2 weakens, and most organs will follow suit. Now, mommy, who's whole life had been dedicated to sustaining this precious, fragile life.... had to make decisions on how she wanted this life to end. This falls into the category of  "things that parents should never have to do"

NO NO NO!!!!!! IMPOSSIBLE!!!! 7 months ago i felt exactly the same panic, but that was with  a woman that was 86 years old and had been on dialysis for 4 years...NOT A 23 YR OLD CHILD!! this can't be happening!! My mom got to orchestrate her own decisions...i didn't have to do it for her. This was WRONG on so many levels!

Shortly after that? Leah messaged that Ash was now on comfort care, and my heart and brain came together to try to accept that this really was try and offer comfort to another mom.  There was no comfort to give as Ashton passed away within hours, just like my mom, surrounded in love and in peace....she just went to sleep.

I surprised myself when the grief that I had stored for the past 7 months came SCREAMING out of my lungs...I can't ever remember crying that hard. All of it...all of it erupting from the depths of my soul. Inconsolable, i called my sister. We've been tag teaming each other thru too many tragedies since losing mom. She came through for me, too. 

She, a woman of faith much stronger than my own, started with my implant problem. "Do you really not see how the circumstances unfolded? You've been a hermit for 7 months. You haven't even ventured into the back yard. SOMETHING had to motivate you out of the house, and that would have to be pain, as you weren't responding out of duty, need or desire. Your implant loosened because on Wednesday...not Tuesday, not Friday, but on Wednesday, you were suppose to be in Joplin. You wouldn't have gone had you not already be in Springfield, right?"  and then she cried with me. Her mommy heart was also breaking for a family she didn't know, but that doesn't matter when it comes to moms and kids. She cried for my pain, for Leah's pain, for her own pain. We cried for our combined breaking hearts and how unfair this world is.

So, as I muddle through this everlasting grief process I will give pause and wonder if God was really working.with me. However it happened, I got to be with the Queen, and her dancing eyes, and her delicate little hands and feet. I got to witness the devotion of her mom and Grandmom, and was schooled in what is important in this life.

This morning molly got up at 6am. She didn't care that I hadn't really slept, that my eyes are swollen and red, and that i feel like I could stay in bed for the rest of my life. She said "eggs, toast, fork"  and I rolled over and gazed at her beautifully shaped almond eyes. I responded with "hugs and kisses first, and then breakfast" and got myself moving. Thank you, Leah. Thank you for sharing your child with me...your child, your humor, your attitude, your example, your parenting experience, all of it. It hurts bad, but i feel Blessed to be able to walk this path with you.

We love you....we all love you. Every mommy seeing this across the country, across the world. We wish you peace. And we will cherish the memory of this perfect child forever.

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Sunday, April 27, 2014

The side eye

Molly uses 'the side eye'. This is one of the characteristics of Autism...she rarely looks directly at you, or at the baseball pitch, or at any activity occurring around her, but she catches it perfectly in her peripheral vision and hits a homer, or stores it for later. 

And I mean perfectly.

Her obsession with catsup has been forever, and we have to dole it out in little acrylic nut cups and hide the bottles, because if she gets hold of a bottle, she will dispense the entire thing into a bowl, until the bottle is empty, or the bowl is overflowing. 

Hiding the bottles is a big game to her...and no matter WHERE i put one, within a day or two, she's found the hiding spot, recovered it, and poured a bowl. 

I thought I had her outsmarted FINALLY when i discovered that my oven mitt perfectly fits over a catsup bottle!! We have been 2 months without a red disaster! Yesterday? She walked right up beside me while i was cooking supper, pulled the oven mitt off the bottle, and asked for catsup. IN YOUR FACE, MOM!!

This morning, after suggesting she bypass the catsup for breakfast, and try a bowl of cereal first, she verbalized "Eggs, Toast"  This stems from mornings at big brother Gabe's house. He makes a hot breakfast for his kids EVERY morning. (Zoey loves pancakes)

Ok, ok..I'll be in there in a second...eggs and toast it is. (If molly verbalizes a request, it is generally granted to affirm our need to communicate that way) 

She returns to me (I'm trying to make my bed) WITH an egg in her hand. 

Ok OK!! I drop everything and head to the kitchen, grab a pan, and head for the stove...when i crash. Full splits, knee bent back, trashcan knocked over...Oh Dear Lord I know I've broken something. WHAT HAPPENED???

I holler at the Sarge, and look over to see egg yolk on my kitchen floor. Someone has been attempting to make her own breakfast! 

Nothing broke, by the way, so I'm feeling pretty foolish about calling out the troops. I get up, clean up the mess, start her eggs..then walk over to make her some toast. 

There are already two pieces of toast, done, warm and in the toaster...and a loaf of bread that's been torn open. (she cannot maneuver twist ties, yet)

Yep, Miss Side Eye has all my moves down, and is ready to learn how to cook....I don't even want to tell you about her new duty as the backseat driver. 


Monday, March 31, 2014

Still Around

Seems like I'm always coming in here to apologize for being AWOL. I am sorry. I took the last year off to deal with learning how to navigate without a personality (career). I have never been in this position before, and with the help of a very patient and loving husband, am making my way...albeit slow going. 

In December, after 3 years on dialysis, and one month in preparation in a Colorado Springs Hospital, I lost my mom. That sent me spiraling into a chasm i didn't know existed. I am making my way back up the walls of it as we speak. I would like to say I'm making it day by day, but we are still operating hour by hour. I went to see the doctor after awhile, and he's helping me navigate the way. 

The side effects of my recent health issues (yea, along with the mental health issues, there are physical issues, yay me) I had become almost agoraphobic....i don't want to leave the house, and as bad as i want to see you? I just can't force myself to do so. Apologies to those that have wondered where the hell I've been, and why i didn't show up. Know that i want to be there for my friends, and will contribute what I can...I just can't come right now.

All in all, I think I'm on the upside of everything....except the domestic goddess part. How the hell do you stay at home moms get this all done? I am willing to pay someone to come and teach me!! It could have something to do with my current funk, and I do have all my plans and dreams in my mind, I just am unable to organize it into a working plan. HELP! :-)

Anywayyyyyyyyy...that is the last year in a nutshell. Now we can focus on this past weekend, and my lifeline to the world, Miss Molly Kate. 

Molly is now 13 years old, will be 14 in June. I'm still not sure what happened there...she is definitely 13 ....with all the glory that having a teenagers physical self, wanting a cell phone, wanting to show her style in dress, etc...but not operating fully at 13 years cognitively. 

We just did an evaluation, and i really don't think they know what they're talking about in cognitive age and IQs, because the little goober is MUCH more acute than they're giving her credit for. Recently she has become a backseat driver. When you want to use the mirror to back can't. Her big head is in the way while she motions you to 'come on back, you have plenty of room'  She yells WATCH OUT! if there is oncoming traffic, and tells you to GO when the light turns green faster than that guy behind you can honk. I told the sarge it's time to hide the vehicle keys as I don't put it past her to grab them and go for a drive one day.

We went to Springfield to see Zoey Grace, her little niece that was turning 4 years old on Sunday. Then Bill and Ka came too. We prepared to make some awesome Asian food (Ka astounds us everytime we get together) so we decided to stay the night and party for 2 days.

We bought bikes for Molly and the birthday girl on Sunday, and taught Aubrey Jo how to ride without training wheels, and taught molly how to ride WITH training wheels! What a beautiful the 70s and providing us with a full day of play, including Molly getting some hog-time on Gabe's Harley. She'd jump from a plane if she was with her brothers. 

She astounded me again with her secret command of the English language. We saw a stalled coal train (she adores trains) and she was soooooo excited! She counted all the cars, and then when we made it to the end she verbalized..."Bye, train, see you later"

One day I'm going to wreck the car because of her. I have never heard her say 'see you later'.  I don't know whether to be overjoyed that 5 appropriate and understandable words came out of her pretty little mouth, or confused as to why she has never uttered these words to anyone in her family! *sigh*

Today I heard her counting down verbally ...the numbers were not in proper succession, but? when she got to #1? she yelled BLASTOFF!! (another first for me to hear) 
Thank you Magic School Bus. 

I did have to laugh and apologize to the Sarge today, as running after kids and bikes all weekend, and not sleeping in my own bed, made me a mommy-zombie today. I was feeling pretty old. We just looked at the communication note from school....the afternoon was a wash deportment wise, and she spent the last 10 minutes of school asleep on her bookbag. 

I guess we were both were pooped. 
I would like to invite you to the prayer page we have set up for molly's little redheaded boyfriend 'Bobbert'  He was diagnosed at the beginning of the school year with Leukemia, and is in St Louis now, getting his 2nd infusion of his brother's bone marrow. 

We need him home and at 100%.

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Godspeed, Mom...I'll miss you forever

Alyce Jo Miller entered paradise on Dec 15, 2013, a trip she had planned for her entire life, peacefully and surrounded by her children at Select Specialty Hospital in Colorado Springs,CO.  She was greeted at Heaven's gate by her beloved mother, Naomi LuJon, who, with her step-father, Max, raised her in Cheyenne, Wyo.  She attended classes there through high school, and then attended the University of Wyoming, where not only did she set records in the swim club, and was a majorette for the marching band, but her love of music was cultivated and refined.
She met her future husband at Frontier Days, 1946, and two years later married Gerald Miller and remained his bride for 65 years. To this union, her self acclaimed greatest gifts were born, her four children. Patricia (Dale) Pfeiffer of Colo. Spgs, CO,  Jeri (Carl) Kyle of Lexington, NE, Eileen (Larry) Wilson of West Plains, MO, and Richard Miller of Greeley, CO. They provided her with 11 grandchildren and 15 great grandchildren. She was also known to bring other children into her heart, home and family, so the list of those that mourn her passing numbers many.
She only had one sister on her side of the family, (one niece and two nephews) but was welcomed into the Miller side, a large family filled with love and laughter, as their own sister. This family not only provided her with 5 brothers, but two additional sisters. Surviving her are Joe (Suzi ) Miller, Jacksonville, FL. Thomas (Bev) Miller, Central City, CO, Gladys (Mel) Cieloha, Thornton, CO, and Robert (Ursula) Miller, Peyton, CO . Brothers George, Donald, and sister Rosemary Miller Dornbrock precede her in death. This family also blessed her with a host of nieces and nephews that she held dear.
Alyce was first and foremost, an amazing Christian, a most loving mother, the Co Owner of a Dental Lab and the first female Certified Dental Technician (before anyone had ever heard of a liberated woman) She loved to dance, was on a bowling league, water skied, played tennis, and loved to teach music to the youth of her home parish of St Ann's in Lexington, NE where she spent most of her life. She had a beautiful, opera type singing voice and a fine tuned musical talent. She considered these attributes her gifts from God, and willingly gave them back to Him at many church functions.
Retirement allowed a move to Johnson Lake, and Bertrand, NE where she endeared herself to all that met her in those communities. Eventually, she moved into the home of Patricia in Colorado Springs, where she spent her final days surrounded in love, shopping, and grandchildren.
Even when facing serious health issues Alyce woke every morning, praising the dawn of a new day, and lived that day to the upmost. Her favorite song of late was "Morning has Broken" which is a perfect description of the life she held precious and led. She remains a beacon of love and faith to guide us all.

A celebration of Life will be held at a later date. Mom did not want to be the cause of anyone's tears.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

I am such a bad girl...poor Molly doesn't stand a chance

Last week was a travel week. Off to Colo Spgs to visit mom....14 hours of drive time one way..... Dad doesn't like to fly.

I might insert here...KANSAS SUCKS!! Sorry Kansas, but HOlee MOlee...driving acrossed that state would try the patience of Job!

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My mountain, Pikes Peak. other hometown. It was good to see that it was still intact despite the wildfires of the previous weeks.

Traveling with my family is just weird.

Dad does not read, or listen to music, or anything. He just sits in the back seat (more comfortable) and reads the road signs and checks his watch....that's it. There is usually an abundance of War stories at the beginning, but they even stop after awhile.

Molly is plugged in. DVD-iPad- something always. She switches seats at every stop, either in the front, or in back with dad. Whichever spot she chooses, there is 5 minutes of clearing out everything that I had left there from all just flies because she doesn't like anything around all.
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The sarge is always on a mission.... Least amount of time on the road, least amount of gas used. There is barely a reason good enough to get him to stop....he would rather find an outhouse, as oppose to a little store,  because we waste too much time in there taking a break. When he does stop? It's ONLY at his favorite places, and always the same places. There is no time for fun....i just want to stop at Osceola ONCE and get some cheese, but unfortunately, that is too close to where he likes to stop, the Dominator, so we never get to.
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Well, lemme tell ya, the Dominator, who is suppose to have the cheapest gas and the quickest in & out, failed us miserably on the trip home. We pulled into pump #2, left him to do the filling, and I jogged in with Molly to do the other. She LOVES to shop at these places...always on the hunt for a popsicle, and never finding one...she will still walk away satisfied with a bag of Cheddar Ruffles and some sort of little blue drink.

We come back out, and the sarge STILL has not pumped the gas...can't get it to work. I saw a man that was suppose to be working, outside talking to some chick on the way in, and told him about the trouble, but he did nothing, so i told the sarge just to pull around to another pump.

That one did not work either, and now Dad's starting to get irritated. You don't want dad irritated. At 86, he feels no need to contain, control, or  be calm. He'll just pop a cork and blow like a hot pop that's been shaken!

We tried several times to get help, did not have enough gas to move it on down the road, and the sarge is now starting to look at me like know...IT'S ALL MY FAULT! I might mention that it's about 100 degrees, also, and Molly has used HER last bit of patience...tick tock...tick tock....

Finally, Missy Pissy Pants that I am, goes back up to the store door. It's one of those doors that ding-ding-dings when opened. So, after several failed attempts to get help, and on this 100 degree day, I opened that door and leaned on it, keeping it open. You could feel the A/C rushing out of the inside. :-)


"Are you still having trouble with the pump?"   Young guy is dealing with a woman who is upset about her lottery ticket. She is REALLY upset, too.

"Why yes, we have been here for 20 minutes, and have yet to pump a gallon of gas. I might add, we've been here wayyyyyyyy longer than powerball girl, there"

At this point, the line of customers all turn to look at the witchy woman, and i figure I'm going to get some evil looks. I find it comical that most are grinning. They are tired of waiting behind upset lottery lady, too.


Blondie pops out from a room hidden behind the register. A manager

"That young man is suppose to stay on the register"
Really? I saw that young man talking to a chicky chick outside when i pulled up a half hour ago
"That was me"

She IS going to help, though, so I try and clap my trap. She comes out and also cannot fix the pump.(She did have the gaul to ask if we had pushed the start button)   A guy with a HUGE 5th wheel camper pulls in beside us, looks at us, and asks if there is trouble with the pumps. Blondie manager (grrrrrrrr) looks up and says..."Oh #2 never works"

REALLY?? #2 where we spent the first 10 minutes?? NEVER WORKS??? grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Finally she cashes out the pump, gets us fueling, and reminds us that she is sure we don't look like people that would run away without paying. They don't do 'pay inside' with just anyone, you know.

Don't tempt me sister....

Anyway, we got our gas, finally, and got back on the road..poor sarge's.trip time TOTALLY blown out of the water, but Molly was happier for the break.

All my sibs and their kids showed up in Colo to see mom... a little visit turned into a huge family it was good too.
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Next time? I think maybe we'll get to stop in Oseola at the cheese factory...I believe the Dominatior may be off the stop list!  All I know is that I have a new-found respect for those irritating DING DING DING doors. ...they can come in handy.

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oh yea, there was a birthday, too. I'm Officially Old!
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Mom was thrilled to see everyone and looks WONDERFUL!

Saturday, June 15, 2013


We finally got to go ME-MING!! (swimming) Molly is so funny. She NEVER gets excited about ANYTHING. That morning, she was not wanting to get up for school, as usual. She was laying in her bed, looking at the iPad, but only had one eye open. 

I told her what today was...TODAY we get to go SWIMMING at SCHOOL! TODAY we get to ride the BUS and go to the POOL!!
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Well lemme tell you...miss always calm tossed that iPad, JUMPED up off the bed and YELLED.."DAD, BACKPACK!"  Daddy usually prepares her backpack while I get her dressed, then she yells at me "I, (she calls me "I" not mommy...thank you very much, daddy) "I, Tow-well"  and I might add, she was verbalizing all of this, which again, is something that rarely happens.

 I was trying to get everything together but evidently not fast enough and daddy and I both laughed as we watched her run to get into my vehicle with only one shoe on, and her hair not brushed.  I would say she was excited.

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She had a blast..and thank goodness for the number of teachers that volunteer for this outing, because at one time, as always, she made a move that was too fast for me. She always seems to wait for that moment when she thinks I'm not paying attention, being the sly little skunk that she is. 

She slipped away from the little kids area of the pool, to the section of the pool where there was deeper water. Molly is comfortable in the water, and we have a pretty big above-ground pool, but it's all one level and she can't float.... but she doesn't understand yet that she can't float. She's been getting her dog-paddle and freestyle 0 stroke down, so she thinks she can swim and has no fear.  For some reason, and to the dismay of all parents of children on the spectrum, she is drawn to the deep water with this lack of fear. 

I have purchased a flotation belt for her, and had it in my swim bag, but wasn't given the option to put it on her. Bee-line girl had made her move through the pool, while I had to run AROUND the pool. 

We have been trying to teach her how to jump into the pool, but she doesn't like that. At the pool that day, I decided that we would NOT try to teach her to jump anymore. THAT would have been disastrous. She made the bee-line for the ladder, and started to back down into the pool.

 I was running, but not fast enough and hollered ahead at the teachers closer to 'GRAB HER!!'  All we could do was hang on though...that 120 pounds of water-balloon-down-syndrome flop&drop-body wasn't coming out of the water. Three adults couldn't pull her out. (UGH) Then one of the teachers ran for the belt, and I was able to show her the belt and use the ABA training (which was a stretch because the 1/2 panic 1/2 angry mommy just wanted to scream) and said MOLLY!! FIRST BELT THEN SWIM!! Finally, she understood we were going to let her swim, and allowed us to drag her out and put the swim belt on...and then away she went happy as a lark...she paddled over to where the boys were jumping in. She paddled over to where all the other 13 yr olds were.

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After about an hour, she got out of the pool and was thinking about taking her suit off. I know, I saw the look in her eye. So I asked her if she was done. Her 1-1 was standing there...I think she knew, too! :-) No matter how much this girl loves an activity, she's only good for a short period of time. A whole hour was amazing to me...she's usually Miss 15 minutes. No Theaters for us. 

We gathered up her stuff, and instead of staying to lunch with the other students, we just came home. She did make me stop and open the back of the Tahoe, though, so she could recover her sack lunch, drink, and fruit i had in the cooler. 

Maybe...she'll take a rest this afternoon, and not destroy the house!! 

We can always hope.


on a sad side note...our little red headed boyfriend up there? our 'bobbert' the little boy who has been molly's protector and voice this past 6 years at their little k-8 school, was recently diagnosed with AML Leukemia. Please join us as we pray for him and his family while they fight this horrible beast.

Monday, June 10, 2013

The worst mommy EVER!

Summer school is upon us. It's a wonderful program! Molly gets to continue speech therapy, they study great topics thoroughly, and there is a field trip weekly! 

I like to go on the field trips with her, that way she's not susceptible to long bus trips and the teachers have back-up...mommy back up. Her teacher for the year is one on one, and her 5th grade teacher AND a friend, Miss L, and we are VERY happy about this. Miss L started facebook messaging me one week before the onset, EXCITED to be getting to work with Molly. I CANNOT emphasize enough HOW wonderful it is to have a teacher EXCITED to GET to work with your kiddo!! 

If they attend all days of summer school, they get to go to Silver Dollar City at the end of the session. They go free, family members get reduced ticket prices, and since 3 of my babies are born in June (Aubrey Jo on the 7th,  Little Bill on the 11th and Molly Kate on the  22nd) we are making it an annual family day! (plus, I'm really cheap cheap!!)

Friday, the field trip was swimming. It's still chilly here, and I'm not ready to have her swim.  I'[m a little apprehensive about taking her to swim by myself anyway...she's bad to run and jump in deep ends (I have a belt...I've seen her take the belt off at motel pools and go jump in the deep end) and there is the 'too much excitement-maybe leak' aspect to worry about (ordered special garbs to cover that) and then there's always the "I don't want to leave and am gonna melt" aspect..which is impossible to deal with at her body weight and with the limber 'flop&drop' body our kiddos with DS have, which just takes patience. Now mind you, NONE of things would happen, as a parent, though, we tend to let our minds wander to the worst case scenarios  so that we can be ready...or sometimes we just talk ourselves out of joining in the fun.

On this particular day, daddy and I both had appointments, so would be unable to attend....BUT I didn't want her to be counted absent, so we agreed to attend school up until the time they went to the buses to go to the pool in Willow Springs.  I just figured she wouldn't know, anyway...and we could go get pedis and have a girl day in between our appointments. 


When the kids started to line up to get on the bus, I went to pull Miss Molly out and she gave me 'the look' ?????? WHAT ?????? are YOU freakin' KIDDING ME?? WE'RE going ME-MING!! (that's how she says swimming) ON THE BUS!

OMG! How did she figure this out??? okay..okay...I can talk her out of this...Lets promise...ummm...ICE CREAM!! yea...lets go get ice cream! 


Ms L tried her best...she offered her a sack lunch. It had an apple in it. Ms L is regretting that as Molly hauled off and LAUNCHED it at her...Ms L ducked in time, but i think that apple may have glanced off her forehead. MOLLY NO! 

She then figured out she had gone too far, and she really was trying to reign in a full melt-down, so she took off running and screaming for my Tahoe. It was horrible. I made apologies to our wonderful teacher, assuming all the blame for this one as I, yet again, had underestimated my girl.

Driving home, she cried...she cried and kept verbalizing "Me-ming" but settled a little. I think she was holding out hope that I was going to drive her to the pool, because when I put on the left blinker to head down our highway home she let out a war hoop, and then a new word. 


Yea, I'm blaming the sarge on that one. The sarge and the KC Chiefs losing football season. I WAS impressed that we have a new word.. I'm relatively sure it DIDN'T come from the therapist and THRILLED that it was used in know. 

To make matters worse, after having the electrician out to fix the power to the pool, and the Spa people out to rebuild the motor to the pool, it turns out that the motor isn't going to hold. OUR pool is still not up and running. The new motor is sitting here in the living room, Spa girl is coming in the morning to get it fired up, and hopefully Molly will have her OWN pool within the week....but that's just not soon enough.

 Maybe she'll just forget all about it if we have a nice, fun, relaxing weekend. 

Yea, that's right..she has Down Syndrome, she is on the Autism Spectrum. Surely I can make her forget about a little mishap that happened 3 days ago. 

This morning? As we were leaving for school? She ran back into the house. She forgot something. I saw her run back out to get in the truck with daddy. 

She was holding a beach towel.

Epic Fail.