nope...didn't blog last week...probably shouldn't this week....but here
we go anyway.
Im blue...it's raining, and I'm not even sure all of the rain is going to bring back what was lost in the ice storm. My trees look dead...most are snapped midway...the tulips turned black and joined the trees this week.
Easter is a bust....molly has already dumped all of her bubbles out...was only interested in tossing hard boiled eggs like a softball, and is now angry with me because i thought rice crispies was a better breakfast than pickles, coke...(no not coke, milk...wait, milk but NOT in THAT glass) and ketsup.
And even though i know as I'm buying her basket stuff (toys not candy..and a big mind-debate on whether i should buy the chocolate bunny or not) I know that Easter is just not going to be anticipated with joy and hunts and celebration like i remember. there was a hunt, but it was raining and i knew they would move it to the Civic Center, and we don't do well with alot of noise in a contained area. *sigh*
DAMN THE AUTISM!
A child I have been praying for suddenly lost his battle with cancer. I guess that should be considered a blessing, as he seized unexpectedly, painlessly and fatally... and got to miss all that goes with losing a long battle with the disease....but it is SO NOT FAIR.
DAMN PEDIATRIC CANCER!!
I try to get my mind around the fact that it did happen close to Good Friday, and I know this is the season to believe in rising from the dead, and the Glory that comes with that....but even that somehow doesn't make it any easier. WE HAVE TO STOP IT! Really...i mean really...with all the money that is being alloted to keep cars in production...where is the money for cancer that attacks babies??? I know if we could unlock that door, ALL cancer could be cured.
DAMN THE POLITICS
To top everything else off...I have been attacked violently and verbally from someone close to me...attacked because they THOUGHT i wasn't acting up to par for them, acting as should be expected in their mind.
At first? I thought they were joking,....a late April Fools. I am always on par with those close to me...and then it dawned on me that there was no joke intended. I don't know when i became a pissin' post for those that i love, but it stopped on that call. A word to the wise....you might want to consider calling and yelling at me about what you think i didn't do...THE DAY AFTER! It would have saved much heartache, and caused me not to have to run around canceling everything i HAD PLANNED.
But...In this season of forgiveness...I'm giving myself a do-over. This will include a long, hot soak....and some hard work (molly has just destroyed my bedroom) forgetting and forgiving the childish phone call, and realizing that none of my children have horrible diseases, but do-able disorders, and while I continue to pray for those that need it, and try to raise awareness for them, I will thank God for the family He has blessed me with, all of them....just the way they are.
And while I'm at it??? Thank God for my parents...they are SOOOOOOOOOO into the real reason of the season and my only regret this morning, is that we didn't get mom a new bonnet! THANKS FOLKS! (all dolled up and ready for Mass!)
so you can throw this one into the I AM ONLY HUMAN file, and know that yea, even I have my days. I just try and get control of them and turn them around. Sorry to unload.
edited to add...
what am i doing?? making deviled eggs out of the crushed glittered ones (lemonade out of lemons?)
...what is she doing??
oh she is into dressing herself now a days....we argue over school attire (that's typical now isn't it?) but on Easter Sunday? She's destroying my bedroom drawers, and donning her OWN outfit! like gramma!!
In my darkest days...she has her way of making me laugh...AND we have been looking for that one maroon state patrol shirt of daddy's!! WHO KNEW she was saving it for just when i would need to see it....and made me LAUGH!
Happy Easter Everyone
Another year older!
5 months ago