Sunday, February 17, 2008



The balance of life...Miles Levin spoke of it as he journaled his life-trip through cancer. There are highs and lows of life...and your job is to find the balance, and make a life within that balance. Hopefully a happy life.

His mom is closing his webpage down this month. If you want to read some awesome writing, and an amazing guide to life... you might want to take the time to read his page his carepage name is levinstory.


School is OPEN! between the strep and the snow and then the 'little angel' has only been to school 1 or 2 days a week in the last month!! We all ache for the routine... that rut everyone else is trying to climb out of is welcomed in my home.

We are moving from the wintery weather, into the wet,muddy,sloppy weather which will continue to keep us penned up. We wait impatiently for Spring.

We tried warm cream of wheat cereal one cold morning...and i had to laugh as Molly walked from her little breakfast table to the kitchen....holding a spoonful ahead of her, and muttering "yuck, yuck, yuck" In a display of disapproval, the offending spoon was cast into the kitchen sink. She may not verbalize many words, but there is no denying her opinions.

A whirlwind trip to Springfield to check on the baby bump. Some presents for the baby..and they had presents for GRANNY! Too quick though, as we had to hightail it, just beating an impending storm, and they had to work. A 'drive-by' visit so to speak...but i'll take any second available to bask in the warmth of my children. Her name will be Aubrey J.



It again attacks one close to my heart, I can't even move out of the 'denial' phase, though it is time for me to do so.

I just avoid it. It's too painful. I even see myself pulling out of my own comfort zone, because there-in lies the others that are suffering in the havoc the beast has caused. Everytime I attempt to address it, I am mauled by angry i'll just sit quietly and pray....stymied by the Beast.

There are a few things i have learned by walking this path with so many of you, and let me thank you again, for sharing your stories and preparing me for the impending hell-storm.

I know cancer is the ultimate in politically correct diseases. It knows no socioeconomic boundries...plays no race card...has no religion...

It attacks randomly and viciously and it attacks often. It attacks little, innocent attacks good families who have tried to rebuild their lives after already losing one cares not for dues already paid.

There is not enough money to cure it, although presidential hopefuls can raise and spend billions on the 'dance' that leads up to elections...and proctor and gamble can announce that they've invested millions and 9 years into identifying the fungus that causes dandruff....we still are lightyears away from identifying the cause of the Beast.

More possible cures lie in a grave of political disputes (stem cells) and while they argue to no conclusions, the beast gains strength daily. It feeds off of that indecision.

It's scary enough to be shunned by the untouched much easier to flip the channel and pretend that St Judes doesn't exist, than to allow your mind to touch on the fact that this could happen to you.

Supratentorial primitive neuroectodermal tumor.

One of many that attack the brains and bodies of that is not one, but many in itself. One that not only attacked little bennie and his family this week, but in doing so, attacked all that love them.

Now...someone please help me find the balance.


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