Seems like I'm always coming in here to apologize for being AWOL. I am sorry. I took the last year off to deal with learning how to navigate without a personality (career). I have never been in this position before, and with the help of a very patient and loving husband, am making my way...albeit slow going.
In December, after 3 years on dialysis, and one month in preparation in a Colorado Springs Hospital, I lost my mom. That sent me spiraling into a chasm i didn't know existed. I am making my way back up the walls of it as we speak. I would like to say I'm making it day by day, but we are still operating hour by hour. I went to see the doctor after awhile, and he's helping me navigate the way.
The side effects of my recent health issues (yea, along with the mental health issues, there are physical issues, yay me) I had become almost agoraphobic....i don't want to leave the house, and as bad as i want to see you? I just can't force myself to do so. Apologies to those that have wondered where the hell I've been, and why i didn't show up. Know that i want to be there for my friends, and will contribute what I can...I just can't come right now.
All in all, I think I'm on the upside of everything....except the domestic goddess part. How the hell do you stay at home moms get this all done? I am willing to pay someone to come and teach me!! It could have something to do with my current funk, and I do have all my plans and dreams in my mind, I just am unable to organize it into a working plan. HELP! :-)
Anywayyyyyyyyy...that is the last year in a nutshell. Now we can focus on this past weekend, and my lifeline to the world, Miss Molly Kate.
Molly is now 13 years old, will be 14 in June. I'm still not sure what happened there...she is definitely 13 ....with all the glory that having a teenagers physical self, wanting a cell phone, wanting to show her style in dress, etc...but not operating fully at 13 years cognitively.
We just did an evaluation, and i really don't think they know what they're talking about in cognitive age and IQs, because the little goober is MUCH more acute than they're giving her credit for. Recently she has become a backseat driver. When you want to use the mirror to back up...you can't. Her big head is in the way while she motions you to 'come on back, you have plenty of room' She yells WATCH OUT! if there is oncoming traffic, and tells you to GO when the light turns green faster than that guy behind you can honk. I told the sarge it's time to hide the vehicle keys as I don't put it past her to grab them and go for a drive one day.
We went to Springfield to see Zoey Grace, her little niece that was turning 4 years old on Sunday. Then Bill and Ka came too. We prepared to make some awesome Asian food (Ka astounds us everytime we get together) so we decided to stay the night and party for 2 days.
We bought bikes for Molly and the birthday girl on Sunday, and taught Aubrey Jo how to ride without training wheels, and taught molly how to ride WITH training wheels! What a beautiful day...in the 70s and providing us with a full day of play, including Molly getting some hog-time on Gabe's Harley. She'd jump from a plane if she was with her brothers.
She astounded me again with her secret command of the English language. We saw a stalled coal train (she adores trains) and she was soooooo excited! She counted all the cars, and then when we made it to the end she verbalized..."Bye, train, see you later"
One day I'm going to wreck the car because of her. I have never heard her say 'see you later'. I don't know whether to be overjoyed that 5 appropriate and understandable words came out of her pretty little mouth, or confused as to why she has never uttered these words to anyone in her family! *sigh*
Today I heard her counting down verbally ...the numbers were not in proper succession, but? when she got to #1? she yelled BLASTOFF!! (another first for me to hear)
Thank you Magic School Bus.
I did have to laugh and apologize to the Sarge today, as running after kids and bikes all weekend, and not sleeping in my own bed, made me a mommy-zombie today. I was feeling pretty old. We just looked at the communication note from school....the afternoon was a wash deportment wise, and she spent the last 10 minutes of school asleep on her bookbag.
I guess we were both were pooped.
I would like to invite you to the prayer page we have set up for molly's little redheaded boyfriend 'Bobbert' He was diagnosed at the beginning of the school year with Leukemia, and is in St Louis now, getting his 2nd infusion of his brother's bone marrow.
We need him home and at 100%.
Another year older!
5 months ago