Larry eventually returned home from a long roundtrip picking up Kelsi in KC (9 hours) and he looks around the toy-strewn livingroom and asks if i'm feeling ok. I should have made up some 'female' disorder at this point, but that would call for quick thinking and energy output, so i just stick my tongue out at him.
He collapses on the couch, Boondock Saints is playing on network, and tries to chill out and watch TV. 3 seconds later he's passed out. What am i to do? Vacuum and wake him??? I lay on the other end of the couch and help him, like a good wife!
Blessed, overcast, sunday afternoon nap time. We can affort this little slip in parenting, because the front door is latched, and Kelsi is here to keep an ear out for any molly shinanigans. Molly is currently in my room, stretched out on my bed, and uncharacteristically calm watching a DVD.
1/2 hour later, she walks out in a fashion designer outfit! There are men's underware on her head, black dress socks on each hand, 2 pairs of MY socks on her feet, inside-out spongebob jammie pants under a sundress, which is under a pink shirt, and admiring herself in the mirror. Yes, in that 1/2 hour of my quiet peace...she sized up the situation and jumped on the opportunity to unload all of our dressers!! (as well as those 2 laundry baskets waiting to be folded) UGH!
(I'll bet you think I'm making this stuff up, aren't you?)
I move onto supper...a nice one to welcome Kelsi home...grilling KC strips and baking potatoes. It's later than the usual supper time, and Kelsi has switched to the Simpsons (special episode starring michael jackson *sniff*)and we set up molly's little table and chair in the livingroom and allow her to eat there! She, in the meantime, is in the kitchen with tongs...which is Mollyspeak for "no thank you, i would rather just have a pickle"
Tonight i put my foot down, and tell her "your food is on the table, go eat!"
She throws a fit, and when i say fit, i mean she SCREAMS out this gutteral noise so loud I am sure the neighbors (closest is 4 acres away) are calling 911....then she slams herself into her chair, picks up a spoon and hurls it into the big screen! (Big.... slow.... breaths, mommy.....1, 2, 3, 4, 5..... )
She's off to time-out in her room (which translates into i now have 2 rooms to reclean) and even though 2 minutes ago i couldn't WAIT to dive into that perfectly grilled steak, i have now lost my appetite. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Larry, has come out to see what all the noise is about,and immediately jumps at the front door & HE STARTS SCREAMING!! He's yelling at the cat, in his "emergency" voice. HATTIN!! COME HERE!! HATTIN!!! (this is a cat, and you KNOW this is not what they repond too....cmon sarge...can you say "herrrrrrrrrrre kitty kitty kitty????)
I bolt from the kitchen, (and my now cold, unwanted steak) and run to the door, a little ticked off about another loud interruption, but still hearing panic in his bellows, and yell..."WHAT is going ON??"
"Hattin is chasing a skunk down the road, and is in attack mode." EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!! Now I'M flying out the door and Mizzy the dog decides she needs to help me. I try yelling at the female shep, who being newly adopted and still skiddish immediately flops and drops and starts wetting the sidewalk. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
I finally make her understand that she needs to get in the house, when Lucifer, the old black cat, has to come stick HIS nose into the situation. He procedes to do what he does best, and that is "put the explanation point" on any direction i give the dogs. SMACK SMACK-HISS HISS...which sends Mizzy yelping and flying back out the front door, all the while Larry is continuing to scream at Hattin.
We finally get all animals contained, including the hoisting of Mizzy back in the house, and I run across the yard trying to catch up with Hattin, but not too fast which invites the "catch me if you can" game he so likes to play...said skunk has now disappeared behind the blackberry briar that separates the road from the neighbors sheep field.
I pick up the city kitty...and carry him back to the house, and look at the sarge who is SMILING!! "He was in crouch and conquer mode" Larry seems to love this about cats...the way they pounce and jump prey, which up to this point has been an occasional lizard! He can almost respect cats for this, and is actually BEAMING at the returning soldier.
I'm just frazzled and confused at my KC transplanted husband/trooper.
"LARRY!! SKUNKS are NOCTERNAL!! AND they carry RABIES!! There is NO GOOD REASON for a skunk to be WALKING DOWN OUR ROAD during the DAYTIME!!"
Sheeeeeeeeeeeze!! talk about your city kitty....I'm married to city-guy!
Now? all is quiet, I finally have a topic for the weekly blog. It's time to clean up from another typical day in the Wilson Home...and prepare for the dreaded return to the work place, which honestly is beginning to look more like a welcome place of escape.
Larry is quietly sitting out front.
With the Glock.
