the last of May is over!! *WHEW*

wow! what an ending to a month! School is out, Graduation is over, and the POOL is OPEN!!






I'm over my little pity party...I'm not why it is so necessary for me to wallow a little bit, before i pull up my big girl panties, and get on with the tasks at hand....but i do. Didn't mean to be a bummer....Judevine comes tomorrow and starts us off with a 3 hour training session. Hopefully THEY will teach ME how to deal with some of molly's more undesireable habits....and either get her talking, or get us all signing!


This is a pic the school sent over after i posted about the fishing trip...lmao! doesn't molly just look THRILLED with the field trip???





and ally's graduation:













Gabe barbeque'd for all the families, and the food was delicious!




And we were granted a beautiful day for the outing...it had rained the previous 5 days, and was looking bleak, but it just turned out to be a perfect day:

We took molly out to a party our local Hospital was throwing, on the occasion of thier 50th year of operations...She had a ball! (and a blue coconut sno-cone!) The main pic on the title of the blog was her coming down a TWO STORY SLIDE~! ALL BY HERSELF!! (ok, one dad had to get up there and talk her AND his little girl into the tall climb)










After that we made what's become an annual event, and stopped to have lunch with Texas, a friend and workmate from the old Walmart Days! She lives in Branson now, but comes over every Memorial Day Weekend!

And some exciting stuff for you bird watchers out there! We have returning Killdeer to our yard...strange little things lay thier eggs in the open field (where we may not mow anymore) and hatch them there, before moving them to the lake. There were 3 eggs, and we timed the peek just right to see the last little one




mama kept a close eye on us:




And the adoption effort puppy is still with us. I haven't heard from anyone close, that i think would be a good family for her, although there have been several long distance opportunities from wisconsin and illinois ???????? what is with THAT? so she is still hanging around, waiting for me to move her:





So it's been a busy month...June is the month of birthdays around here...Aubrey Jo has her #1, Molly turns 9 on the 22nd and Bill has one on the 11th! I got this in the mail this week: Isn't she just adorable?? I mean really, have you EVER seen such a beautiful baby??? (sorry, couldn't help it, grammy keeps BLOWING outta my proud chest!! She is ABSOLUTELY the BEST!! and now? The invitation to her first birthday party!! YAY AUBREY JO!!






And we'll do it all over again when Shauna comes to town on the 18th! We will celebrate ALL the kid's birthdays then, when they'll all be together! So ON WITH JUNE!! I hope it is as eventful as May!!

I'll let you know next week how my training goes...and our new life in Summer school as a mom of a child with the dual diagnosis! I am happy to have her, blessed with FOUR healthy children, and with the love they have brought to me twofold, with the addition of the ones that THEY love...and surrounded by the love of good friends. I have MANY MANY THINGS to be thankful for, and won't let a little "label" get me down!

A new title, a new life, and a rainy day blog

Yea, I've been off awhile...partly because we've been so busy with Ally's graduation/end of school stuff/and acceptance. I'll talk about the fun in a future posting...it's just been a blur in my life as of late...for now? we'll focus on one topic:

Acceptance


Molly Kate now has a definite diagnosis of being on the Austism Spectrum. There, I've typed it for the world to see...My skunky, funny girl is Autistic.


tears...*sniff*



She went to Kindergarden twice...the first time? FABULOUS!! Everyone loved her, she was gaining a vocabulary, and was elected princess candidate of the spring festival...purely a popularity election. She was the only one on stage to engage the audience in the Wonder of Molly Kate, bowing, throwing kisses and inviting applause and adorable admiration. The pinacle which spoke of the future, and just how much of a "poster child" for Down Syndrome she would become. No need to fear...I'm just like YOU!!






Year two? things started to change....her circle of friends started dwindling to 1 or 2...she had previously dropped the signs when she verbalized the word...but now she was dropping the words, too...and she became more obsessive/compulsive.....playing only with toys that would stack well...then forgoing toys altogether for better stacking utinsels like paper plates, spoons, and oreo cookies.


denial



For 2 years i watched the changes...they were also noticed by teachers and tagged as a possible "A word" in her IEPs, (still not ready to accept the possiblity) and then? i started talking to other moms, and visiting other websites.... Moms with kids on the spectrum.



I'm Angry



I was so careful with her innoculations, only to find out i could have separated the MMR and taken it in 3 different doses....knowledged gained too late. I'm not saying it WAS the MMR, I'm saying i don't feel like i was given enough knowledge about all the alternatives at the time of innoculation....(hers was definitely mercury free) and we still don't know why this disorder is attacking our children at the current estimates of 1 in 150.

Since she has Down Syndrome and the majority of physicians don't believe that our children can have Autism (they think it more of a level of the DS)so I too kept dragging my feet. It's taken me two years to grasp the idea and call in the experts...and the experts have come and filmed an evaluation, studied it for 2 months...and sent us the diagnosis.

She is mildly autistic by their standards...but still...another diagnosis, and this one packing SO MUCH MORE OF A PUNCH than the DS did....I so worry about "losing" her...her spitfire...her sassy...her demonstrative love......this diagnosis has just knocked me for a LOOP!


I'm slowly getting on board. Judevine has promised parent training...support...playdates...respite...horse & music therapy and of course we will persue any and all opportunities for her as always


but.... (sorrow)



It still leaves me feeling lost. She's different from her peers, now (friends with down syndrome) and we again find ourselves in the limbo world of parenting. Time to start all over I guess, and accept it...support it...learn it..fight for her and her place in this world ....and advocate.





soon

************************************************
Happy Memorial Day sounds like such an oxymoron. Thank you! more appropriate.

Thank you to my dad and uncles who fought in the big one, WWII....thanks to all of you from my generation who fought in Nam, and didn't get the thanx when you came home.....and as our own 1138th prepares to leave for that horrible place, THANK YOU and prayers for our servicemen and women currently serving in this lastest conflict.


We especially honor and remember my Father in Law, Glen Wilson, who left us too early at the hands of Altzheimers, after surviving the Germans.

After fighting in Germany, he came home and devoted his life to his 5 children and wife... and the Missouri State Patrol for 33 years...

always the public servent...and the bar to reach for. We miss you, pops

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!

I sat down to write a touching Mother's Day blog, but was interrupted by a SNOOTY little MISS KNOW IT ALL...who is currently fighting me on the wearing of the big girl panties. It's not that she isn't potty trained...she is...it's just the fact the "bypers" are the norm, and in NO WAY should we ever venture away from our routines. MOLLY THE MULE!!

Such is Mother's Day to SO MANYYYYYYYYYYY wonderful moms i have the pleasure of knowing...my sisters. We can discuss panties, hormones, flop&drops, poop & IEPS. We know enough collectively to make one fantastic physician!! (as well as how to make a geneticist cringe)

We have shared our joys, and screamed our losses and just about the time we are ready to give up???...we lift each other up in love, in shared stories, and touching phone calls, and prayer....never with condemnation or pity (which is possible from the typpies)....but with the love of true understanding and compassion. Our children have taught us lessons in patience and diversity we would have never learned without them, and along the way have introduced us to each other. We Celebrate Them! and thank them for that awesome gift!


We meet face to face, open our homes to each other without a second thought...the sisterhood kows no anxiety over things like that...we just love "hangin" with each other. We come from every demography imaginable and yet we are family by the one link that binds us closer than blood.

We understand. That's just it...we UNDERSTAND.

I hope one day...the whole world can reach this level.




HA HA!! PANTIES!! I WIN!!
*****************************************************************************

This week marks the beginning of the "end of school" parties...we didn't post last week, nor have the parties been as much fun, because of the rain and tornadoes....but we keep trying. One day daddy went to school and all the kids went fishing!! Molly caught the first fish!! (She wasn't impressed) The MUD was pretty awesome though!!


this is her and our beloved miss stephanie, who is not even afraid of splitting up worms and hooking them for 30 kids!!




and this is Chloe our newest temporary "child"....we are re-homing her...I am thinking about calling her Karma, because thru the advertising I've done, we may have found the original breeder, as well as a woman with the same name as her 2nd owner, who ALSO lost a female german shep! (that was a wrong number, BTW!) I have lots of wonderful prospects for homes for her, and will be sad to see her go.....she's been a HOOT!

have a GREAT DAY!! Enjoy the pampering and THANK YOU MOMS for all that you do for ME!!

love,
e & molly kate

i wanna be like molly

I want to be just like molly sometimes...cuz she is just too cool...not as cool/famous/built as baROCK obama this week....





but still cool...

For instance, if she sees you packing up to leave...she will just excuse herself to her room and a little bear dvd. She doesn't like goodbyes.

She has all the faith in the world that you will be back soon...whether it's me off to work, or her siblings...shauna only gets home once or twice a year....but that's fine. Molly knows they will get together again, soon, and it will be time to PAR~TAY!

She hasn't seemed to notice that gramma and grandpa are not here anymore....they moved out to colorado springs for the summer, and will be back in the fall...but she's not said anything. She knows they'll be back.

This week marks the anniversary of Little Maddy...she was born into SUCH a loving family, with an inoperable heart condition. Like molly, she had down syndrome...but she had to have a transplant to save her life...and NEWS TO ME, "our children" were not eligible for transplants!! EEK!! They loved her till she was 18 months old...and she remains forever 18 months old. Isn't she just gorgeous???





I mention this to 1) honor her and the fight she instilled in me for the rights of our children, and 2)to rejoice in the opportunity she gave me to meet her mom...one of THE most beautiful women in the world! Love ya amy...you're the BOMB!

That's why i want to be like molly....just having that faith in the reunion...she accepts the fact as much as she knows there will be pretzels in her cupboard. No need to question it, or stress over it...it will happen.

I need that kind of faith.

*******************************

This week Molly's been putting sentences together for me!! YAY! She calmly announced one morning, when joining me outside to marvel at the beautiful, warm day that was dawning...."Cold, Go Inside"

Simple...to the point...and factual...and hearing a sentence out of her nearly 9 year old mouth caused ELATION in my throat! Daddy heard it too...cuz i was just sitting there..mouth agape, not wanting to scream and scare her out of talking again.... when the sarge sticks HIS head outside grinning and says..."Cold? Go Inside?"

YAY!! I did NOT just dream it!!

So go have a great week, marvel when you can, never take your child for granted...and keep the faith like Molly. Try not to be too sad, or worry about what your children are doing without you there looking over them..... just try to anticipate the reunion>

Par~TAY!

Easter, one week later

Both boys came home for a long weekend! YAY! We cooked, ate, played outside when it wasn't raining, and doted on the baby!







Aubrey Jo, now 10 months, is not just walking but RUNNING!! She is also attempting to talk...she can say MMMMMMMMMMMMMM when you ask her how the cow goes...and MMMMMMMMMMMMMM when asked what Molly's name is. She can bark (how does the dog go?) AND we taught her to MEOW!!

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

She is currently in the "quick study" mode...imitating everything she sees & hears! Larry was even teaching her his nasal HA HA HA, and the next morning when she awoke fussing, both him and I were making a bee line for her....she amazed us by stopping her fussing, and breaking into a nasally HA HA HA as soon as she saw Larry! cracked me UP! Her IQ has got to be off the charts, she is so bright! She also loves spongebob! Of course, grammy makes sure both girls are never far from him...





Molly, who adores and is adored by Aubrey soaked up the love and attention of her brothers, and was MORE than a little jealous when Bill loved on the baby.






She has been struggling through MAP testing at school...(changes of routines) so it was nice to smother her in the love of brothers again. There was even a bonus when Josh came over! Grammy babysat all the little ones why the boys went to see Fast and Furious! The big family couch is now sleeping a second generation.





(bree, hayden, and mckenna)

Our big news, happened yesterday when I took molly to school. She remains pretty much non-verbal, and misson oriented....meaning when it's time to go, it's time to go....no fanfare, no hugs, no lengthy goodbyes...just GO!

Yesterday, as I dropped her off at school, she opens the car door, side eyes me and says clear as a bell "BYE BYE'

YAYYYYYYYYYYY!! A FIRST!!! I'm so excited i have to stop myself from screaming!! I curb the urge and compose myself and reply "Bye, I love you"

and ?????

AND??????

i hear her!!

"Lub you too"

YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAAYYAYAAYAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAAY

Big day for us!

Enjoy your week....do NOT take anything you have for granted!!

Pity Party

nope...didn't blog last week...probably shouldn't this week....but here
we go anyway.

Im blue...it's raining, and I'm not even sure all of the rain is going to bring back what was lost in the ice storm. My trees look dead...most are snapped midway...the tulips turned black and joined the trees this week.

Easter is a bust....molly has already dumped all of her bubbles out...was only interested in tossing hard boiled eggs like a softball, and is now angry with me because i thought rice crispies was a better breakfast than pickles, coke...(no not coke, milk...wait, milk but NOT in THAT glass) and ketsup.

ugh

And even though i know as I'm buying her basket stuff (toys not candy..and a big mind-debate on whether i should buy the chocolate bunny or not) I know that Easter is just not going to be anticipated with joy and hunts and celebration like i remember. there was a hunt, but it was raining and i knew they would move it to the Civic Center, and we don't do well with alot of noise in a contained area. *sigh*

DAMN THE AUTISM!

A child I have been praying for suddenly lost his battle with cancer. I guess that should be considered a blessing, as he seized unexpectedly, painlessly and fatally... and got to miss all that goes with losing a long battle with the disease....but it is SO NOT FAIR.

DAMN PEDIATRIC CANCER!!

I try to get my mind around the fact that it did happen close to Good Friday, and I know this is the season to believe in rising from the dead, and the Glory that comes with that....but even that somehow doesn't make it any easier. WE HAVE TO STOP IT! Really...i mean really...with all the money that is being alloted to keep cars in production...where is the money for cancer that attacks babies??? I know if we could unlock that door, ALL cancer could be cured.

DAMN THE POLITICS

To top everything else off...I have been attacked violently and verbally from someone close to me...attacked because they THOUGHT i wasn't acting up to par for them, acting as should be expected in their mind.

At first? I thought they were joking,....a late April Fools. I am always on par with those close to me...and then it dawned on me that there was no joke intended. I don't know when i became a pissin' post for those that i love, but it stopped on that call. A word to the wise....you might want to consider calling and yelling at me about what you think i didn't do...THE DAY AFTER! It would have saved much heartache, and caused me not to have to run around canceling everything i HAD PLANNED.

DAMN!

But...In this season of forgiveness...I'm giving myself a do-over. This will include a long, hot soak....and some hard work (molly has just destroyed my bedroom) forgetting and forgiving the childish phone call, and realizing that none of my children have horrible diseases, but do-able disorders, and while I continue to pray for those that need it, and try to raise awareness for them, I will thank God for the family He has blessed me with, all of them....just the way they are.

And while I'm at it??? Thank God for my parents...they are SOOOOOOOOOO into the real reason of the season and my only regret this morning, is that we didn't get mom a new bonnet! THANKS FOLKS! (all dolled up and ready for Mass!)



so you can throw this one into the I AM ONLY HUMAN file, and know that yea, even I have my days. I just try and get control of them and turn them around. Sorry to unload.

edited to add...

what am i doing?? making deviled eggs out of the crushed glittered ones (lemonade out of lemons?)

...what is she doing??
oh she is into dressing herself now a days....we argue over school attire (that's typical now isn't it?) but on Easter Sunday? She's destroying my bedroom drawers, and donning her OWN outfit! like gramma!!






In my darkest days...she has her way of making me laugh...AND we have been looking for that one maroon state patrol shirt of daddy's!! WHO KNEW she was saving it for just when i would need to see it....and made me LAUGH!

Happy Easter Everyone

Another boring weekend

I'm loving it!!

Just me and the family.

Mom and dad ran off to tunica this weekend, but escaped just before all the tornadoes started up...Molly the sarge and I ran to Springfield and grabbed the baby up, and headed for home before the alleged snow was suppose to hit...and settled in for a boring weekend of just kids and housework.

We left here in shorts, as it was 65 or so...and got to Springfield and it was 41!!! EEK!! Aubrey and Molly have the same taste in toys




Heading for Home: Dont forget your "gunkey" molly...does diesel want to come with?



Hangin with the puppy:



Goofin with Molly...or maybe fighting over the little chair....



Patty-cakin' wif PaPa



LOVING that big, low window....just my size!



She is well on her way to walking...just cruising right now..and standing independently for long periods of time! These are some clips for posterity...and you can hear molly's goofy new laugh for the season. Most the times i ask her.."what is that noise your making???"

to which she adds at the end of the goofy giggle, "ha ha ha ha ha" I'm thinking spongebob has alot to do with that laugh!! Enjoy your week, I hope it's as boring as mine!


3/29/09 Bree at 9 months