Good Sunday Morning!!

Up and at it early today, even though Molly has a 4 day weekend for President's day....because there was a problem with the cats. There was a 20 pound bag of cat food in the mud porch, but they were all by the dish LOOKING at me, one sitting on the storage container. 

All were empty....which normally wouldn't be a huge problem, but we have our first snow storm moving in for the season. Yep, February 15, and we may get our first snow. (bummer)

So, i boogie out to walmart (was there yesterday stocking up, grrrr) to grab yet another bag of food. (who leaves an empty bag in the mud porch anyway? more irritating than up toilet seats)

Walmart's parking lot looks like the night before deer season's opening day. It's early Sunday morning (usually the best time to shop) but the OMG!! IT'S GONNA SNOW  crowd is out enforce. Had to laugh because i heard someone say, "0-12 inches" with laughter because the storm totals have changed daily. I'm sill hoping for the zero total.

I got out of there in a hurry, pulled up to the house, and miss molly was waiting for me in the picture window. I was happy that she opened the door for me, as i was doing the "as many bags as i can possibly handle" trip from the car to the house (yes, the mob mentality of snow prep got to me) 

Then? I noticed something ominous (cue "Jaws" music) She's not leaving the front door...she's waiting...waiting ....ohhhhhhh no. She's expecting a bag from McD's

Her love of McDonald's falls into the "weird" part of Autism. She no longer eats the beloved food (thank heavens) BUT, you had better be bringing it back with you if you go to town. We confirmed the phenomena at the bowling alley. She got a bowl of nachos, and carried it around like a prized possession, grinning big. She brought it home and displayed it on a pedestal, and i had to throw it out after she went to school, as she wasn't going to let it go willingly. No, she never ate one nacho. 

Beginning meltdown countdown in 5....4...3..

I wish she would understand that it was too early to buy a plain burger and a med fry. She doesn't get that. We don't meltdown often anymore, and although she CAN say the word "Donalds"  she never did, she leaves it up to detective mom to decipher. 

I had microwave fries so i fixed those up and she calmed down...but I'm still getting the 'stink eye' because it's sooooooo far from a satisfying 2nd choice. 

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Trying to add a new banner. Bobbert is leukemia free and will be coming back to school in March!! YAY!! March marks his 1 year of NED since his relapse, and if they can make it clean for a whole year? Probably smooth sailing for the rest of their lives. 

But now, the kid's friend Kate Boone, young, newly married, not started a family yet..they've just got their degrees and are embarking on life, when melanoma crashed that party and changed life's course. 
http://katesfight.com/blog/

This is her blog, and she has a go fund me link on it. Go fund her. Cancer is expensive. and pray. She just finished her regimen of chemo. 

Cancer sux...

Always a Joy

It's been a rough day, ok, a rough WEEK at the little house in Autismville, as a 14 yr old girl, who has been flooded with hormones is hard enough to live with, let alone one with all the extra enhancements that come with my 'little angel'

She doesn't like bathing anymore. Out of the blue she just started fighting it. This morning it took me AND the sarge 20 minutes to get her into the tub. After we finally got the deed done she decided to add the exclamation point onto her disgust by throwing everything she could reach. (add vacuum, spot bot, , impromptu scrubbing and washing a load of towels to my list for the day)

She can't help it...it really hurts to be a girl sometimes, and she has no idea why this keeps happening. I'm calm, daddy's calm...we understand. The pets just run when they see her coming. School was out for us yesterday, Monday, for a "teacher's in service" which was a drill on how to handle an active shooter. (man oh man, the things those poor people have to learn on TOP of everything educational) but we decided to keep her home one more day.

She settled, enjoyed the rest of her bath, and was calm enough for me to take her to Walmart. I really didn't want to add that trip as my BP was now sky rocketing, (staying calm on the outside takes it's toll on the inside) but in order to clean up all the messes that she and my critters made, I had to go get laundry stuff, as well as more feed so that the critters could make more messes. 

Miss smarty pants was told on the way in, that because we had to buy dog and cat food, she could not ride in the cart. A good excuse to give her because in reality, I can no longer push her around in a cart. She doesn't look very big because all that weight is compacted into her little 'spongebob' body, but she is really getting to be too heavy for us old folks. 

I walk in, pull out a cart, look around and no Molly. No, she's in the vestibule where they keep the Hummer-Carts. Those monstrosities that allow her to ride in the back with plenty of room to put the dog food in the front. Yep, she has figured out a way for her to ride, and me to get the well-needed aerobic exercise of pushing a 200 pound cart that turns like a semi.

But...she's calm. She found a new purse that she's wearing and grinning with that (what the boys call) stretch-face smile, the one she keeps for when she's REALLY satisfied with the way things are going. 

I wheel around to the pretzel aisle and stop, because it's loaded with women and carts and chatter and I don't drive my semi well enough to maneuver around that kind of traffic.  One lady is on her cell phone asking her hubby what kind of chips he wants...a mother and daughter are having some giggles, a girl is working on inventory and so on...their carts are all parked on the right, they are all standing on the left. 

Molly has a few words that she can use appropriately, and we have taught her so as to make her life less frustrating. "sorry, move please" "Scuse me" and things of that nature. But not today...today miss grumpy is not in the mood for all this business between her and her pretzels...so in her loudest Missouri State Trooper voice, and with hand motions commanding from her blue Hummer seat, she stands and yells..."WATCH OUTTTTT!!!!"  which was articulated PERFECTLY and definitely silenced the crowd. 

I was mortified..."MOLLY! that is NOT what we say!"  

"Scuse me, sorry"

To the first cell phone gramma, who was probably now wishing she had been wearing Depends, I said "Yes, excuse me is the polite way" to which the gramma replied with a twinkle..."Yes, but not HALF as effective!"  Everyone else smiled (and moved out of the way) and had chatter for Molly, now that she had made such an entrance...even the associates working in there were laughing. (Trust me, sometimes we do think the same thing, especially when the bosses are demanding work to be completed in a hurry)

So, we made it out with our new purse and to the car without anymore hassle..I think she'll be ready to go back to school tomorrow. They could handle it efficiently, but one more day off wasn't going to hurt anything. 

Fun times at my place. Now? I'm off to take care of the tornado that's gone through my living room on this unscheduled long weekend. Hopefully it will be calm all day tomorrow. 

HUGE!!

The hardest thing about Autism, to me, is the loss of communication. Through intervention, speech therapy, and hard work, Molly has some words back (if they're important to her) but we don't have "nomal" conversations. We have routine ones, like 

"what cereal would you like this morning?"

"eggs, toast" (ugh)

with food? she can be pretty verbal. 

She hears and understands everything, and we talk to her like we would talk to any other tween....

"TURN THAT CRAP DOWN!!"

Probably the worst? Her not being able to 
#1 be aware of the location of her pain and 
#2 being unable to tell me she has a pain. 

Otherwise, our conversations will consist of me asking a question, and her answering with all her words.

"How was school today?"

"Aubrey Jo, Owie (Zoey), Sarge (dog) Puppy (Mizzy the dog) CAT (Lucifer) Koo (koo kitty never got a name, molly just named her) and Kee (the new little bit kitten) Bill, Babe (Gabe) *her brothers* and Harter" (we haven't quite figured out who that is.)

She repeats these names of those nearest and dearest to her heart, (Pongebob, Quidward, Dora, Boo Bear (Little Bear)) and moves her hands the way you would if you were in a conversation with me, but it never makes any sense, and without the update list from school,  i would have NO IDEA what happened there today. (verbally that is...if she's having trouble i can read it thru her attitude)

Yesterday was Friday....I'm trying to get her to understand the days of the week. We have a calendar at home of the days, so she can understand the pain of Monday and the joy of Friday!

I pick her up from school on Fridays, also...another Joy, and IF SHE'S GOOD, we make a run thru "Donalds" (mcdonalds...a new word for her, again, only if it's REALLY important)

I start in after the smiling pick up, with my usual conversation..."how was school today?" 

nothing.

"Was it sno-cone day"

nothing but a smile

"What color of sno-cone did you get?"

"BLUE!"

omg!! she answered me!! WOOHOOOO! I was SO excited!! she actually TOLD ME SOMETHING!!

I kept my delight somewhat curbed....until i got home and could text her aide. She confirmed that indeed the sno-cone was blue, and the party ensued!!

It may seem small to the parent of typpies (NTs or Neuro Typicals, typpies in my house) but to a mom that's never had a real conversation with her kid for 14 years? it's HUGE!!

Have a great weekend. :-)

Just about the time I'm confident I have her all figured out......

It's beautiful here this morning...misting rain, low humidity, cool temps....our first hint of autumn. our first day where it's not at LEAST 80 degrees with 90% humidity.

Fridays are fun days, and it's usually the ONLY day of the week i can get my little miss happy to be going to school. This morning, even that wasn't motivating her, but we keep on, calm and steady, going through the morning routine. 

I finally tell her, "I'm going to the car, get your shoes on and get out here, we don't want to be late for FRIDAY!!!!" 

Already in the Tahoe, I watch as she walks to me sporting flip flops. Ugh...she loves them but can't walk very fast in them. I KNOW they have to be a pain in the aide's side, but, you know, all the REALLY COOL girls wear flip flops to school, and evidently all year long. 

 Right behind her is daddy, in his robe and slippers, in the misty rain, carrying her regular shoes. Yea, we got her figured out. I'll send the other pair in her backpack for backup.

We have an uneventful trip, pull into the drop off line at school, pop the seatbelt, and I grab her pack to add the shoes, as well as the lunchbox full of 'reward' snacks.

I notice the flip flops laying on the floor..."Hey, Put your shoes on."

Now, at this point, I must explain about Molly's 'hit and miss' autism. I didn't get one of those really neat kids that like all their stuff put up in the same place, I got miss 'likes all of her stuff dumped all over' The stuff that's really important to her? Oh she hides that stuff. A really un-fun game of hideNseek, particularly if it involves food stuffs. 

She also doesn't hold hygiene at the top of her priority list.....but?   the bottoms of her shoes must NEVER be dirty.

Yep, this girl that could grow worms under her nails if we didn't go through the nightly scrubs, refuses to let ANYTHING stick to the bottom of her shoes. I keep antibiotic wet ones in the car, and have actually pulled the car over to clean her shoe bottoms so she'll settle down.

This morning, this first really cool morning of the season, I watch in horror as she picks her shoes up and tucks them under her arm.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! we HAVE to have shoes on to go to school!! Miss smarty pants has been quietly contemplating this whole situation on the 10 minute trip, and has a lightbulb over her head now. If she doesn't put the shoes on at ALL, they won't get DIRTY!!! 

I desperately grab for the other pair, maybe she'll wear one pair, and carry the other, switching them inside. "Here, put THIS shoe on instead!"

Now?  There are 3 shoes tucked under her arm, and two bare feet on the floor. 

The aide opens her car door, sizes up the situation, and busts into laughter..."It's ok, we'll fix it up inside"

All the other teachers waiting to help the other car-fuls of kids,  are now looking at me (because now we are holding up the process) so I explain about the shoes.

As I pulled away from the line, i glance in the rear view, watching my barefoot daughter inching across the cold cement & I was happy that we could provide such a good laugh this morning for all the other teachers. 

She can always surprise me. Molly 1, Mommy 0.

Crappy Saturday Morning DETERRED!!

Autism is a very narcissistic disorder. It is hard to love a child so hard, so much, and have very little returned to you. She doesn't give big hugs often, doesn't seem to have a sympathetic bone in her body (ohhh you are bleeding mommy! that reminds me, i need some ketsup) So first? Let me give a shout out to all my Autism Mommies!! I feel it, girlfriends!!

I'm not complaining, it's just how it is. This is Autism Education 101.

Migraines are debilitating, again, just the facts, jack. 

I didn't have them in my youth, but as my life changed due to age, hormonal fluctuations, rag weed content, barometer changes, WHO KNOWS? I did develope them. 

Fortunately, with the sleep study and addition to my already full night stand, the bi-pap machine, (yes, bi-pap, not c-pap, i don't do anything half-assed) they have been decreased immensely. 

Unfortunately? One migraine a year is one too many.

Today was my day. They wake me early,and in the 1/2 state of unconsciousness, you are aware of extreme nauseousness, and incredible pain...but it's hard to pull out and start to deal with the necessary steps to get them under control. It's so much easier to drift back off to sleep. A little voice in the back of your pounding brain spurs you ahead...it knows that the situation is only going to get worse. 

I stumble to the medicine cabinet and start with stomach settlers...pepcid, tums, prilosec...what ever i can get down my unable-to-swallow throat. Then? Excedrine, IB, Tylenol...anything to stop the pain. It has to be done in stages, as again, the ability to keep them IN my tummy is essential. 

Then? It has to be quiet and dark. I usually spend the first stages on the back deck, till tummy is under control, as I am considered armed and dangerous at that point. It's unpredictable, violent, and explosive. This ensures that the poor sarge isn't liable for seriously gross cleanup duties. Only after the dancing stomach is eased can i crawl back into my bed.....shhhhhhhh just quiet and dark...just for a little bit.  

OK, you have the whole game plan....back to Autism. Molly has also woken early, and has some serious issues that need my attention. Ugh. No, daddy can not be trusted to fix breakfast, or pour the ketsup correctly. "No, Daddy!! Stay!"  (stay is her new word, and she uses it with hand signals...except, to her, it means 'stay away')

This morning? A small miracle occurred. I touched her hand to my pounding Melon...and said "Molly, Mommy's head...OW...Hurt....Light off...one minute!"

SHE COMPLIED!! I gave her my phone, she happily took off with it flipping my bedroom light off, and left me for an hour to get things under control. I started buying smaller containers of milk & chocolate milk so that she can grab one of them (no denying the morning fluid intake with her...ever) and lulled back off for a full hour of uninterrupted quiet & snoozing.

She reentered the bedroom, and became extremely verbal..."Eien" (she doesn't call me 'mommy' it's a spin off of my first name) Juice, ketsup- red, dinosaur-reen (a green dorothy the dinosaur is in her hand) eggs, toast, corrrrn (fork) tail (she also has a life sized Dorothy the Dinosaur Tail) Dora!! Boots!! Amote!! (i need to get the remote and start the DVR) I guess my time off is over, but it's ok, the worst also is over.

Yes, dear...here i come. THANK YOU for being so patient. 

TV is on, breakfast is served, and even though it's going to be a really rainy holiday weekend? I'M THRILLED....everything is coming up roses here!!

Lessons in Patience

I will never know EVERY reason why she does what she does, but paying for them gets expensive sometimes. This week, I have recovered from the loss of my laptop...ok, not a total loss as I have it wired together and added an external mouse now, (the keyboard mouse no longer works as well as the checkerboard of missing keys) 

And she's a 'hider'  Stuff goes missing around here, and with both the Sarge and I on the hunt, it may be a week before it's recovered. Random stuff. The remote, Zoey's flip flop, this week? one of the land line cordless phones, and end of year last school year? her BOOKBAG! It took us TWO weeks to find that one! She's a very good hider. Again....i cannot reason why. Well, I figured out the bookbag one. 

I do try to stay organized, not that you would ever guess it by walking into my house, but I really do. There are priorities, of course, like socks. I keep a small clothes hamper by my husband's side of the bed, hidden behind the dresser, for his dirty socks. I despise dirty socks. They are just gross. Over the years he has learned how NOT to 'donut' them (more touching on my part) and to toss them in that cute little bucket. On laundry day? I just dump the little bucket into the washer, solving all my sock-touching headaches.

This morning, washing whites is on the list of chores, and I grab the little bucket of dirty socks, dump them in the washer, and hear KER-PLUNK! 

Yep, there's that missing house phone. 

Now I'm adding rice to the shopping list, and i don't believe we've actually eaten any of the rice out of this bag....just used for drying out electronics! 

But she's pretty cute.

Broken Hearts

wow. just wow. sometimes life is soooo cruel you can be left just breathless, numb in the brain in & in so much pain you don't know what to do.
That's when you call your sister. It's a long story...

A couple of years ago, i opted for implants in my mouth. I have fought these horrible teeth my entire life..braces, fillings, partials, crowns, root canals...you name it. So when my aging teeth started to act up I decided to just replace them...now? i don't have to deal with this for at least a decade.

Well, at least I thought so, until just before the holiday. Yep..lost a crown, and had horrible pain. I didn't think a crown could cause that kind of misery, so i thought maybe i had a sinus infection.....allergies have been a real pain this year. After a couple of days I realized...IT WAS THE IMPLANT! Danged thing was loose. AUUUGHHH!!

Had to wait till the Monday after the 4th to call the doc...they would see me the next day. Nope, it'll have to be Wednesday, I'm already booked for Tuesday with Dad's appt's.(The timing will be important later)

Then? I had received some really disturbing news from the western edge of the state. My online friend Leah Baker in Joplin's girl Ashton, just turned 23, and was really ill. Leah and I have been friends forever...in 2009, Ashton was elected homecoming queen at her school, the first as far as i know, and Leah got involved in FB, so things really took of for us! Ashton, being nearly a decade older than my Molly, also enhanced with Down Syndrome & Autism, was always a source of hope, entertainment, and a peek into my own future. She had recently been diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's also, which was heart breaking, but I had really not witnessed any of that. She was still the same ole, sweet and sassy firecracker of a girl...just like my molly.

The way her mom interacted with her taught me about humor, acceptance, and of course, the unconditional love that only a parent of a child with special needs can know. Leah was so involved with activities with Ashton, it put me to shame...i tend to wait for the backup of big brothers when deciding on big activities with molly as she is strong enough now, if things go south, you need to have a couple of he-men around to get her up and moving again. Not my brave Leah...she just went for it.

Monday, Leah went to check on Ashton, and she was complaining of a tummy ache, a bad one. Now, as parents of kids with DS know...when your child is complaining of pain? IT REALLY HURTS. Molly would almost have to break something before you understood she was 'hurt, boo boo"

Leah, immediately took Ash to the Doc, (caregivers had said "probably just a virus") but mom knew better, and then the doc also was concerned and sent them into the E.R. for some testing...routine routine routine..and then? the world tipped a bit.

Ashton's oxygen sats dropped...low...dangerously low. They are trying to run every test available to figure out WHY WHY WHY...but then she dropped way too low, and they were forced to try a bi-pap with her. (a bi-pap is a full face mask that BLOWS oxygen in, forcing your lungs to accept it. It's VERY invasive but does the trick)

Let me insert here, that this is the same route my mom was taking in Dec. A crash...an unexplainable crash. It would happen occasionally, but, with her, a couple of days inpatient with fluids and all would be fine. In my heart I was hoping that this would be the same with Ashton.

So...back to Wednesday. I have to drive up to Springfield because I live in the woods. If you want access to something a special as an implant specialist, you have to travel a bit. I'm pretty irritated about having to make this trip, but started thinking and  looking at google maps and see that Joplin is only an hour west of Spg and begin to toy with the thought of running on over. Sent a message to Leah making sure it was ok, and to get the name of the Hospital.

Ashton couldn't tolerate the bi-pap mask & high pressure of it, something I understood as well, as neither could my mom. Leah had posted that they had to vent her (always scary...even just the word) and I expected to walk into an ICU room, and dive back into bizarro hospital world. I expected to see a comatose young woman, and hear the irritating sound of the whishhhhh of a vent.

When i did walk in, Leah had stepped out, Maw maw was sitting next to Ashton's bed, head down ...and as my eyes moved up to gaze at this girl i have come to love ...and preparing myself for the worst??? I saw something else. I saw the child with vent installed, but she was not unconscious. In fact, she turned, looked at me, eyes lit up and smiled and her little hand moved up and waved.

All my apprehensions disappeared as I also broke into a grin, and startled maw maw because i was ELATED to see she had made that turn...the turn for the GOOD!  WOOHOOO LOOK AT YOUUUU!!

We chatted and yes, Ashton had indeed popped out of the dark and back into our world, and she was a bit irritated with her current circumstances. Some candy striping boob came in with a tray of food and left it in the room..Ash started pointing at it and getting VERY excited...we had it removed immediately, but it warmed my heart that she was hungry. She got just as excited when the doc was in.....there was a pizza commercial on TV she kept pointing out....she was STARVING. She looked right at her doctor and signed "finished"  The three women laughed because we knew she was saying she was ALL DONE with this situation. Get this hose out of my throat, get me some food, and then DISCHARGE...i wanna be HOME!

Doc was just as happy, and told us he would get that tube out pronto. He wanted to leave her in ICU for the night, just to make sure, but that she would travel to a regular room in the morning if all went well.  The extubation got postponed for another emergency in the ICU, in the next room so we were aware it was going to be awhile.

I sat with Ash for awhile...reaching to rub her palm...something that settles my molly right down, and the last thing we do at night to help her drift off. They confirmed that that was also Ashton's sweet spot. She kicked off her sheets and got a foot rub, too. We laughed over the few words our two girls used, but the demand that came with them. When molly wants me to take a second and really listen to her, or wait for her, she says "MaMinute" (one minute) Leah tells me Ashton puts one hand out, the other on her hip and says "FIVE minutes!" Either way, we both know we need to take a second and that it is IMPERATIVE that we do so, NOW!
 :-)
She grew tired & was still upset about being hungry, asked for the TV to be turned off...and i decided to make an exit as I didn't want to be a source of busy to her if she needed to rest. Besides...i also had exhaled a deep sigh of relief knowing that she was going to be OK. She got to be extubated eventually, and she got to eat. YAY!

Up until this moment, there was still no reason for her crash. They had been in process of testing when it happened but had to react instead of being pro-active. No one even imagined what was coming.

By the time i got home there were messages...Ashton was again in danger. She's spiked a fever and was declining fast....and then the doc revealed the news...the same news the doctors had told me last November.. We're sorry...but she's just giving out. Her body can no longer sustain life without serious intervention. When the heart weakens, the o2 weakens, and most organs will follow suit. Now, mommy, who's whole life had been dedicated to sustaining this precious, fragile life.... had to make decisions on how she wanted this life to end. This falls into the category of  "things that parents should never have to do"

NO NO NO!!!!!! IMPOSSIBLE!!!! 7 months ago i felt exactly the same panic, but that was with  a woman that was 86 years old and had been on dialysis for 4 years...NOT A 23 YR OLD CHILD!! this can't be happening!! My mom got to orchestrate her own decisions...i didn't have to do it for her. This was WRONG on so many levels!

Shortly after that? Leah messaged that Ash was now on comfort care, and my heart and brain came together to try to accept that this really was happening...to try and offer comfort to another mom.  There was no comfort to give as Ashton passed away within hours, just like my mom, surrounded in love and in peace....she just went to sleep.

I surprised myself when the grief that I had stored for the past 7 months came SCREAMING out of my lungs...I can't ever remember crying that hard. All of it...all of it erupting from the depths of my soul. Inconsolable, i called my sister. We've been tag teaming each other thru too many tragedies since losing mom. She came through for me, too. 

She, a woman of faith much stronger than my own, started with my implant problem. "Do you really not see how the circumstances unfolded? You've been a hermit for 7 months. You haven't even ventured into the back yard. SOMETHING had to motivate you out of the house, and that would have to be pain, as you weren't responding out of duty, need or desire. Your implant loosened because on Wednesday...not Tuesday, not Friday, but on Wednesday, you were suppose to be in Joplin. You wouldn't have gone had you not already be in Springfield, right?"  and then she cried with me. Her mommy heart was also breaking for a family she didn't know, but that doesn't matter when it comes to moms and kids. She cried for my pain, for Leah's pain, for her own pain. We cried for our combined breaking hearts and how unfair this world is.

So, as I muddle through this everlasting grief process I will give pause and wonder if God was really working.with me. However it happened, I got to be with the Queen, and her dancing eyes, and her delicate little hands and feet. I got to witness the devotion of her mom and Grandmom, and was schooled in what is important in this life.

This morning molly got up at 6am. She didn't care that I hadn't really slept, that my eyes are swollen and red, and that i feel like I could stay in bed for the rest of my life. She said "eggs, toast, fork"  and I rolled over and gazed at her beautifully shaped almond eyes. I responded with "hugs and kisses first, and then breakfast" and got myself moving. Thank you, Leah. Thank you for sharing your child with me...your child, your humor, your attitude, your example, your parenting experience, all of it. It hurts...it hurts bad, but i feel Blessed to be able to walk this path with you.

We love you....we all love you. Every mommy seeing this across the country, across the world. We wish you peace. And we will cherish the memory of this perfect child forever.

The side eye

Molly uses 'the side eye'. This is one of the characteristics of Autism...she rarely looks directly at you, or at the baseball pitch, or at any activity occurring around her, but she catches it perfectly in her peripheral vision and hits a homer, or stores it for later. 

And I mean perfectly.

Her obsession with catsup has been forever, and we have to dole it out in little acrylic nut cups and hide the bottles, because if she gets hold of a bottle, she will dispense the entire thing into a bowl, until the bottle is empty, or the bowl is overflowing. 

Hiding the bottles is a big game to her...and no matter WHERE i put one, within a day or two, she's found the hiding spot, recovered it, and poured a bowl. 

I thought I had her outsmarted FINALLY when i discovered that my oven mitt perfectly fits over a catsup bottle!! We have been 2 months without a red disaster! Yesterday? She walked right up beside me while i was cooking supper, pulled the oven mitt off the bottle, and asked for catsup. IN YOUR FACE, MOM!!

This morning, after suggesting she bypass the catsup for breakfast, and try a bowl of cereal first, she verbalized "Eggs, Toast"  This stems from mornings at big brother Gabe's house. He makes a hot breakfast for his kids EVERY morning. (Zoey loves pancakes)

Ok, ok..I'll be in there in a second...eggs and toast it is. (If molly verbalizes a request, it is generally granted to affirm our need to communicate that way) 

She returns to me (I'm trying to make my bed) WITH an egg in her hand. 

Ok OK!! I drop everything and head to the kitchen, grab a pan, and head for the stove...when i crash. Full splits, knee bent back, trashcan knocked over...Oh Dear Lord I know I've broken something. WHAT HAPPENED???

I holler at the Sarge, and look over to see egg yolk on my kitchen floor. Someone has been attempting to make her own breakfast! 

Nothing broke, by the way, so I'm feeling pretty foolish about calling out the troops. I get up, clean up the mess, start her eggs..then walk over to make her some toast. 

There are already two pieces of toast, done, warm and in the toaster...and a loaf of bread that's been torn open. (she cannot maneuver twist ties, yet)

Yep, Miss Side Eye has all my moves down, and is ready to learn how to cook....I don't even want to tell you about her new duty as the backseat driver. 

EEK!

Still Around

Seems like I'm always coming in here to apologize for being AWOL. I am sorry. I took the last year off to deal with learning how to navigate without a personality (career). I have never been in this position before, and with the help of a very patient and loving husband, am making my way...albeit slow going. 

In December, after 3 years on dialysis, and one month in preparation in a Colorado Springs Hospital, I lost my mom. That sent me spiraling into a chasm i didn't know existed. I am making my way back up the walls of it as we speak. I would like to say I'm making it day by day, but we are still operating hour by hour. I went to see the doctor after awhile, and he's helping me navigate the way. 

The side effects of my recent health issues (yea, along with the mental health issues, there are physical issues, yay me) I had become almost agoraphobic....i don't want to leave the house, and as bad as i want to see you? I just can't force myself to do so. Apologies to those that have wondered where the hell I've been, and why i didn't show up. Know that i want to be there for my friends, and will contribute what I can...I just can't come right now.

All in all, I think I'm on the upside of everything....except the domestic goddess part. How the hell do you stay at home moms get this all done? I am willing to pay someone to come and teach me!! It could have something to do with my current funk, and I do have all my plans and dreams in my mind, I just am unable to organize it into a working plan. HELP! :-)

Anywayyyyyyyyy...that is the last year in a nutshell. Now we can focus on this past weekend, and my lifeline to the world, Miss Molly Kate. 

Molly is now 13 years old, will be 14 in June. I'm still not sure what happened there...she is definitely 13 ....with all the glory that having a teenagers physical self, wanting a cell phone, wanting to show her style in dress, etc...but not operating fully at 13 years cognitively. 

We just did an evaluation, and i really don't think they know what they're talking about in cognitive age and IQs, because the little goober is MUCH more acute than they're giving her credit for. Recently she has become a backseat driver. When you want to use the mirror to back up...you can't. Her big head is in the way while she motions you to 'come on back, you have plenty of room'  She yells WATCH OUT! if there is oncoming traffic, and tells you to GO when the light turns green faster than that guy behind you can honk. I told the sarge it's time to hide the vehicle keys as I don't put it past her to grab them and go for a drive one day.

We went to Springfield to see Zoey Grace, her little niece that was turning 4 years old on Sunday. Then Bill and Ka came too. We prepared to make some awesome Asian food (Ka astounds us everytime we get together) so we decided to stay the night and party for 2 days.

We bought bikes for Molly and the birthday girl on Sunday, and taught Aubrey Jo how to ride without training wheels, and taught molly how to ride WITH training wheels! What a beautiful day...in the 70s and providing us with a full day of play, including Molly getting some hog-time on Gabe's Harley. She'd jump from a plane if she was with her brothers. 

She astounded me again with her secret command of the English language. We saw a stalled coal train (she adores trains) and she was soooooo excited! She counted all the cars, and then when we made it to the end she verbalized..."Bye, train, see you later"

One day I'm going to wreck the car because of her. I have never heard her say 'see you later'.  I don't know whether to be overjoyed that 5 appropriate and understandable words came out of her pretty little mouth, or confused as to why she has never uttered these words to anyone in her family! *sigh*

Today I heard her counting down verbally ...the numbers were not in proper succession, but? when she got to #1? she yelled BLASTOFF!! (another first for me to hear) 
Thank you Magic School Bus. 

I did have to laugh and apologize to the Sarge today, as running after kids and bikes all weekend, and not sleeping in my own bed, made me a mommy-zombie today. I was feeling pretty old. We just looked at the communication note from school....the afternoon was a wash deportment wise, and she spent the last 10 minutes of school asleep on her bookbag. 

I guess we were both were pooped. 
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I would like to invite you to the prayer page we have set up for molly's little redheaded boyfriend 'Bobbert'  He was diagnosed at the beginning of the school year with Leukemia, and is in St Louis now, getting his 2nd infusion of his brother's bone marrow. 

We need him home and at 100%. 

https://www.facebook.com/PrayersForBobbertRobertEvans?ref=hl

Godspeed, Mom...I'll miss you forever

Alyce Jo Miller entered paradise on Dec 15, 2013, a trip she had planned for her entire life, peacefully and surrounded by her children at Select Specialty Hospital in Colorado Springs,CO.  She was greeted at Heaven's gate by her beloved mother, Naomi LuJon, who, with her step-father, Max, raised her in Cheyenne, Wyo.  She attended classes there through high school, and then attended the University of Wyoming, where not only did she set records in the swim club, and was a majorette for the marching band, but her love of music was cultivated and refined.

She met her future husband at Frontier Days, 1946, and two years later married Gerald Miller and remained his bride for 65 years. To this union, her self acclaimed greatest gifts were born, her four children. Patricia (Dale) Pfeiffer of Colo. Spgs, CO,  Jeri (Carl) Kyle of Lexington, NE, Eileen (Larry) Wilson of West Plains, MO, and Richard Miller of Greeley, CO. They provided her with 11 grandchildren and 15 great grandchildren. She was also known to bring other children into her heart, home and family, so the list of those that mourn her passing numbers many.

She only had one sister on her side of the family, (one niece and two nephews) but was welcomed into the Miller side, a large family filled with love and laughter, as their own sister. This family not only provided her with 5 brothers, but two additional sisters. Surviving her are Joe (Suzi ) Miller, Jacksonville, FL. Thomas (Bev) Miller, Central City, CO, Gladys (Mel) Cieloha, Thornton, CO, and Robert (Ursula) Miller, Peyton, CO . Brothers George, Donald, and sister Rosemary Miller Dornbrock precede her in death. This family also blessed her with a host of nieces and nephews that she held dear.

Alyce was first and foremost, an amazing Christian, a most loving mother, the Co Owner of a Dental Lab and the first female Certified Dental Technician (before anyone had ever heard of a liberated woman) She loved to dance, was on a bowling league, water skied, played tennis, and loved to teach music to the youth of her home parish of St Ann's in Lexington, NE where she spent most of her life. She had a beautiful, opera type singing voice and a fine tuned musical talent. She considered these attributes her gifts from God, and willingly gave them back to Him at many church functions.

Retirement allowed a move to Johnson Lake, and Bertrand, NE where she endeared herself to all that met her in those communities. Eventually, she moved into the home of Patricia in Colorado Springs, where she spent her final days surrounded in love, shopping, and grandchildren.

Even when facing serious health issues Alyce woke every morning, praising the dawn of a new day, and lived that day to the upmost. Her favorite song of late was "Morning has Broken" which is a perfect description of the life she held precious and led. She remains a beacon of love and faith to guide us all.

A celebration of Life will be held at a later date. Mom did not want to be the cause of anyone's tears.

I am such a bad girl...poor Molly doesn't stand a chance

Last week was a travel week. Off to Colo Spgs to visit mom....14 hours of drive time one way..... Dad doesn't like to fly.

I might insert here...KANSAS SUCKS!! Sorry Kansas, but HOlee MOlee...driving acrossed that state would try the patience of Job!

My mountain, Pikes Peak. ...my other hometown. It was good to see that it was still intact despite the wildfires of the previous weeks.

Traveling with my family is just weird.

Dad does not read, or listen to music, or anything. He just sits in the back seat (more comfortable) and reads the road signs and checks his watch....that's it. There is usually an abundance of War stories at the beginning, but they even stop after awhile.

Molly is plugged in. DVD-iPad- something always. She switches seats at every stop, either in the front, or in back with dad. Whichever spot she chooses, there is 5 minutes of clearing out everything that I had left there from before...it all just flies because she doesn't like anything around her....at all.


The sarge is always on a mission.... Least amount of time on the road, least amount of gas used. There is barely a reason good enough to get him to stop....he would rather find an outhouse, as oppose to a little store,  because we waste too much time in there taking a break. When he does stop? It's ONLY at his favorite places, and always the same places. There is no time for fun....i just want to stop at Osceola ONCE and get some cheese, but unfortunately, that is too close to where he likes to stop, the Dominator, so we never get to.


Well, lemme tell ya, the Dominator, who is suppose to have the cheapest gas and the quickest in & out, failed us miserably on the trip home. We pulled into pump #2, left him to do the filling, and I jogged in with Molly to do the other. She LOVES to shop at these places...always on the hunt for a popsicle, and never finding one...she will still walk away satisfied with a bag of Cheddar Ruffles and some sort of little blue drink.

We come back out, and the sarge STILL has not pumped the gas...can't get it to work. I saw a man that was suppose to be working, outside talking to some chick on the way in, and told him about the trouble, but he did nothing, so i told the sarge just to pull around to another pump.

That one did not work either, and now Dad's starting to get irritated. You don't want dad irritated. At 86, he feels no need to contain, control, or  be calm. He'll just pop a cork and blow like a hot pop that's been shaken!

We tried several times to get help, did not have enough gas to move it on down the road, and the sarge is now starting to look at me like ....you know...IT'S ALL MY FAULT! I might mention that it's about 100 degrees, also, and Molly has used HER last bit of patience...tick tock...tick tock....

Finally, Missy Pissy Pants that I am, goes back up to the store door. It's one of those doors that ding-ding-dings when opened. So, after several failed attempts to get help, and on this 100 degree day, I opened that door and leaned on it, keeping it open. You could feel the A/C rushing out of the inside. :-)

DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING

"Are you still having trouble with the pump?"   Young guy is dealing with a woman who is upset about her lottery ticket. She is REALLY upset, too.

"Why yes, we have been here for 20 minutes, and have yet to pump a gallon of gas. I might add, we've been here wayyyyyyyy longer than powerball girl, there"

At this point, the line of customers all turn to look at the witchy woman, and i figure I'm going to get some evil looks. I find it comical that most are grinning. They are tired of waiting behind upset lottery lady, too.


DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING

Blondie pops out from a room hidden behind the register. A manager

"That young man is suppose to stay on the register"
Really? I saw that young man talking to a chicky chick outside when i pulled up a half hour ago
"That was me"
Oh.

She IS going to help, though, so I try and clap my trap. She comes out and also cannot fix the pump.(She did have the gaul to ask if we had pushed the start button)   A guy with a HUGE 5th wheel camper pulls in beside us, looks at us, and asks if there is trouble with the pumps. Blondie manager (grrrrrrrr) looks up and says..."Oh #2 never works"

REALLY?? #2 where we spent the first 10 minutes?? NEVER WORKS??? grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Finally she cashes out the pump, gets us fueling, and reminds us that she is sure we don't look like people that would run away without paying. They don't do 'pay inside' with just anyone, you know.

Don't tempt me sister....

Anyway, we got our gas, finally, and got back on the road..poor sarge's.trip time TOTALLY blown out of the water, but Molly was happier for the break.

All my sibs and their kids showed up in Colo to see mom... a little visit turned into a huge family reunion...so it was good too.

Next time? I think maybe we'll get to stop in Oseola at the cheese factory...I believe the Dominatior may be off the stop list!  All I know is that I have a new-found respect for those irritating DING DING DING doors. ...they can come in handy.

oh yea, there was a birthday, too. I'm Officially Old!

Mom was thrilled to see everyone and looks WONDERFUL!

Me-Ming!!

We finally got to go ME-MING!! (swimming) Molly is so funny. She NEVER gets excited about ANYTHING. That morning, she was not wanting to get up for school, as usual. She was laying in her bed, looking at the iPad, but only had one eye open. 

I told her what today was...TODAY we get to go SWIMMING at SCHOOL! TODAY we get to ride the BUS and go to the POOL!!

Well lemme tell you...miss always calm tossed that iPad, JUMPED up off the bed and YELLED.."DAD, BACKPACK!"  Daddy usually prepares her backpack while I get her dressed, then she yells at me "I, (she calls me "I" not mommy...thank you very much, daddy) "I, Tow-well"  and I might add, she was verbalizing all of this, which again, is something that rarely happens.

 I was trying to get everything together but evidently not fast enough and daddy and I both laughed as we watched her run to get into my vehicle with only one shoe on, and her hair not brushed.  I would say she was excited.

She had a blast..and thank goodness for the number of teachers that volunteer for this outing, because at one time, as always, she made a move that was too fast for me. She always seems to wait for that moment when she thinks I'm not paying attention, being the sly little skunk that she is. 

She slipped away from the little kids area of the pool, to the section of the pool where there was deeper water. Molly is comfortable in the water, and we have a pretty big above-ground pool, but it's all one level and she can't float.... but she doesn't understand yet that she can't float. She's been getting her dog-paddle and freestyle 0 stroke down, so she thinks she can swim and has no fear.  For some reason, and to the dismay of all parents of children on the spectrum, she is drawn to the deep water with this lack of fear. 

I have purchased a flotation belt for her, and had it in my swim bag, but wasn't given the option to put it on her. Bee-line girl had made her move through the pool, while I had to run AROUND the pool. 

We have been trying to teach her how to jump into the pool, but she doesn't like that. At the pool that day, I decided that we would NOT try to teach her to jump anymore. THAT would have been disastrous. She made the bee-line for the ladder, and started to back down into the pool.

 I was running, but not fast enough and hollered ahead at the teachers closer to 'GRAB HER!!'  All we could do was hang on though...that 120 pounds of water-balloon-down-syndrome flop&drop-body wasn't coming out of the water. Three adults couldn't pull her out. (UGH) Then one of the teachers ran for the belt, and I was able to show her the belt and use the ABA training (which was a stretch because the 1/2 panic 1/2 angry mommy just wanted to scream) and said MOLLY!! FIRST BELT THEN SWIM!! Finally, she understood we were going to let her swim, and allowed us to drag her out and put the swim belt on...and then away she went happy as a lark...she paddled over to where the boys were jumping in. She paddled over to where all the other 13 yr olds were.

After about an hour, she got out of the pool and was thinking about taking her suit off. I know, I saw the look in her eye. So I asked her if she was done. Her 1-1 was standing there...I think she knew, too! :-) No matter how much this girl loves an activity, she's only good for a short period of time. A whole hour was amazing to me...she's usually Miss 15 minutes. No Theaters for us. 

We gathered up her stuff, and instead of staying to lunch with the other students, we just came home. She did make me stop and open the back of the Tahoe, though, so she could recover her sack lunch, drink, and fruit i had in the cooler. 

Maybe...she'll take a rest this afternoon, and not destroy the house!! 

We can always hope.

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on a sad side note...our little red headed boyfriend up there? our 'bobbert' the little boy who has been molly's protector and voice this past 6 years at their little k-8 school, was recently diagnosed with AML Leukemia. Please join us as we pray for him and his family while they fight this horrible beast. 
https://www.facebook.com/PrayersForBobbertRobertEvans?ref=hl

The worst mommy EVER!

Summer school is upon us. It's a wonderful program! Molly gets to continue speech therapy, they study great topics thoroughly, and there is a field trip weekly! 

I like to go on the field trips with her, that way she's not susceptible to long bus trips and the teachers have back-up...mommy back up. Her teacher for the year is one on one, and her 5th grade teacher AND a friend, Miss L, and we are VERY happy about this. Miss L started facebook messaging me one week before the onset, EXCITED to be getting to work with Molly. I CANNOT emphasize enough HOW wonderful it is to have a teacher EXCITED to GET to work with your kiddo!! 

If they attend all days of summer school, they get to go to Silver Dollar City at the end of the session. They go free, family members get reduced ticket prices, and since 3 of my babies are born in June (Aubrey Jo on the 7th,  Little Bill on the 11th and Molly Kate on the  22nd) we are making it an annual family day! (plus, I'm really cheap cheap!!)

Friday, the field trip was swimming. It's still chilly here, and I'm not ready to have her swim.  I'[m a little apprehensive about taking her to swim by myself anyway...she's bad to run and jump in deep ends (I have a belt...I've seen her take the belt off at motel pools and go jump in the deep end) and there is the 'too much excitement-maybe leak' aspect to worry about (ordered special garbs to cover that) and then there's always the "I don't want to leave and am gonna melt" aspect..which is impossible to deal with at her body weight and with the limber 'flop&drop' body our kiddos with DS have, which just takes patience. Now mind you, NONE of things would happen, as a parent, though, we tend to let our minds wander to the worst case scenarios  so that we can be ready...or sometimes we just talk ourselves out of joining in the fun.

On this particular day, daddy and I both had appointments, so would be unable to attend....BUT I didn't want her to be counted absent, so we agreed to attend school up until the time they went to the buses to go to the pool in Willow Springs.  I just figured she wouldn't know, anyway...and we could go get pedis and have a girl day in between our appointments. 

WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!!

When the kids started to line up to get on the bus, I went to pull Miss Molly out and she gave me 'the look' ?????? WHAT ?????? are YOU freakin' KIDDING ME?? WE'RE going ME-MING!! (that's how she says swimming) ON THE BUS!

OMG! How did she figure this out??? okay..okay...I can talk her out of this...Lets promise...ummm...ICE CREAM!! yea...lets go get ice cream! 

NO!! ME-MING!!!

Ms L tried her best...she offered her a sack lunch. It had an apple in it. Ms L is regretting that as Molly hauled off and LAUNCHED it at her...Ms L ducked in time, but i think that apple may have glanced off her forehead. MOLLY NO! 

She then figured out she had gone too far, and she really was trying to reign in a full melt-down, so she took off running and screaming for my Tahoe. It was horrible. I made apologies to our wonderful teacher, assuming all the blame for this one as I, yet again, had underestimated my girl.

Driving home, she cried...she cried and kept verbalizing "Me-ming" but settled a little. I think she was holding out hope that I was going to drive her to the pool, because when I put on the left blinker to head down our highway home she let out a war hoop, and then a new word. 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! ME-MING, DAMMIT!!!

Yea, I'm blaming the sarge on that one. The sarge and the KC Chiefs losing football season. I WAS impressed that we have a new word.. I'm relatively sure it DIDN'T come from the therapist and THRILLED that it was used in context...but...well....you know. 

To make matters worse, after having the electrician out to fix the power to the pool, and the Spa people out to rebuild the motor to the pool, it turns out that the motor isn't going to hold. OUR pool is still not up and running. The new motor is sitting here in the living room, Spa girl is coming in the morning to get it fired up, and hopefully Molly will have her OWN pool within the week....but that's just not soon enough.

 Maybe she'll just forget all about it if we have a nice, fun, relaxing weekend. 

Yea, that's right..she has Down Syndrome, she is on the Autism Spectrum. Surely I can make her forget about a little mishap that happened 3 days ago. 

This morning? As we were leaving for school? She ran back into the house. She forgot something. I saw her run back out to get in the truck with daddy. 

She was holding a beach towel.

Epic Fail. 

Well I NEVER!!

We've been out of school a week...and this week starts summer school! YAY! I have been SO excited to start my new life as a SAHM (stay at home mom) but have found that it's just not as easy as it's cracked up to be! I cannot start any special projects while Molly is at home, I can barely keep up with the 'maintenance' part of keeping a house...she is so much help. I need SAHM bootcamp, for sure. 

My sweet little "angel" is a just this disaster just waiting to happen, and the house just seems to fall apart around her as she walks through it. Every single day I spot something that is amiss, something that I would have never believed she would do. The other day, daddy pulled Dorothy the Dinosaur handpuppet out of the light fixture. We have vaulted ceilings...

This morning? My bluetooth Jawbone earphone. I use it around the house all the time so that I can talk on the phone while I'm cleaning up the "Molly Messes."  I hang it up on the little piano light above the rolltop desk my computer is on, so that i don't lose it. It is very small...who would notice such a thing? 

This is what it looks like..it's about one inch long

Molly would...this is all that is left of my earpiece.

That means, miss OCD saw it, didn't want anything hanging from HER lamp, and tried to pull it off. I guess I should be glad she left some evidence as I know now I need to look for it...as opposed to just thinking I lost another one in my old age scatterbrain. UGH!!

Yesterday, I bent down to look under the bed for something Larry lost, and OMG!! the rest of my day was spent cleaning out her "hoarding" spot! It was easy to see under there, as daddy's favorite LED flashlight was turned on and laying wayyyyyy in the middle. We have a king sized bed, so you just cant reach things there without aid, so i have one of those 'grabber' things...ordered special extra long, just for this purpose...but i can't use it, because it's sitting right next to daddy's flashlight. Most of my afternoon was spent on my belly, grunting, straining, and cussing...then, of course, there were dust bunnies to deal with...nothing worse than dust bunnies under an immoveable bed, on carpet.  Thanks Molly. (I'm relatively sure that it was at this time she was busying herself killing my Jawbone)

In prepping her for summer school (Molly is not a good transition girl) I've been showing her pictures of Ms Driscoll. (DRE-SKO!) Ms Driscoll has been FB messaging me all week. She was Molly's 5th grade home room teacher, has worked with her during summer school before, and is an amazing woman & phenom teacher just in general, and is going to be with Molly for summer school this year, too! I cannot tell you how much it warms a mama's heart, ESPECIALLY a mama of a kid like Molly, when a teacher starts messaging you a week before and is all excited about getting to see your kid, getting to work with your kid, and telling you about the plans she has to excite your kid! A.MAZ.ING.

Anyway, we show up at school bright and early this morning. There is no fussing about getting miss "been sleeping in till 10am" up at 6am...she pops right out and gets preparation business taken care of without fuss.  

This is the kicker...we walk up to the front doors, and DRE-SKO!! comes out to meet us...'HEY MOLLY!!' she yells...Molly turns and gives her a big ole hug. (yay...pictures and talking did the trick!)  She THEN?  THEN? turns to me...places her hand on my chest...gives it a little push and VERBALIZES..."Bye"

WELL, I NEVER!!!

My little monster is growing up. She'll be 13 next month...and she is acting like it already. 

The sarge and his 3 daughters, Molly next to Tammy, and Kelsi
next to him. 

LIVID!!

I just got off the conference call with the DOJ, NDSC, NDSS. Susan Goodman was doing most of the hosting. They had met yesterday to discuss the Ethan Saylor case and what we can do moving forward. 

Moving forward.

ETHAN SAYLOR WAS MURDERED!!

http://www.justiceforethan.com/

Tackled by off duty police officers because he wanted to watch a movie for a second time, and didn't understand about purchasing a ticket. His aide had gone to get the car leaving him alone for just a minute. 

They could have waited. They could have talked to him. They could have bought him a ticket. They could have de-escalated the situation. What THREE LARGE MEN did was shove Ethan face down onto a stairway, handcuff him and smash his larynx....killing him.

And what was questions were answered by this much anticipated conference call?

Why have no charges been brought? Why no investigation? 

Because he had down syndrome.
Communication Problems
We need to focus on police training on handling people with special needs.

What will make this better and not happen again?

We need to write to our newspapers.
We need to write to the Maryland Attorney General.

Statement that most ticked me off?

This is not about Down Syndrome. But now the Down Syndrome community is involved. If he had Autism then all the Autism groups would be involved. Then we would have to train for all sorts of disabilities.

Most heartwarming phone calls:

Jacked up mommas calling from all over the country. They hung up on one. Everyone hosting are confused as to why all the moms are calling for the NDSC to DO MORE and WHY all these moms are so  ANGRY!!! 

We do need to something...and yes, this momma is angry, also. We need to more than just write letters. We need to stop being so complacent about this. 

We need to RODNEY KING it...we need to TREVON MARTIN it. WE NEED TO MARCH!! We need to make sure the ENTIRE COUNTRY is aware of what happened and that WE WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS. This young man needs to be our Matthew Shepherd. We need to remember his name for eternity, and NEVER ,NEVER, NEVER let something like this happen....EVER!

We need to DEMAND JUSTICE for this young man. They need to lose their jobs and be charged with manslaughter at the very least. These men don't get to kill a man and walk away....just because he has down syndrome.....and because they think no one will stand up for him. 

Susan Goodman? THIS IS WHAT WE NEED TO DO!  

EARLY RETIREMENT

That's what I'm calling it....and I couldn't be more pleased. Still working out the details, and trying to learn how to be the thing I've always wanted to be...so the first blog post is this.

How do you be a stay at home mom?

It seems easier right now, because molly is still in school. The alarm goes off and the hustle and bustle begins....but what happens next month? Ok, summer school. The alarm will go off earlier.

I'm finding my days at home are MUCH SHORTER than my days at work were. I've been off a week, and NOTHING is done!

How do you manage the work load? Do you have a daily schedule? Do you home school or have a learning schedule for the kiddos?

SAHMs...I need your input!!

Next week?

More input....Tell me about your horrible bosses! :-)

I'm backkkkkkkkkkkkkk

I know. It's been awhile, but I'm fixin' to change that! Stay tuned for some exciting news and lifestyle changes, which will include more time for us to chat. 

YAY!!

Fire on the Mountain

I consider myself an Ozarkian now, although I hale from Nebraska, have roots in Wyoming, and spent the bulk of my young adultness in Colorado. The majority of my dad's side of the family live from Central City to Denver, and my brother and sister have also migrated there. My mom is currently with my sis in Colorado Springs, where she is getting the best medical treatment and dialysis. Yesterday, my mountain, Pikes Peak, which towers over the city of Colorado Springs, became engulfed in fire...and is quickly moving towards the city.


\
Chapel Hills


 




 Air Force Academy the devastation and loss of the Flying W Ranch Please take a second this morning, and pray for a resolution to this disaster. Pray for the firefighters and law enforcement giving their all to get it contained, pray for those that have been displaced, will be displaced, and those that will be starting over with nothing. Please Pray for Colorado

How Smart is My Kid?????

When trying to describe Molly to workers/teachers/case workers/doctors/nurses, I always tell them how smart she is. They usually give me the "pity look" ...like I'm still swimming in some kind of IQ denial. She is smart! and very tuned-in to those closest to her!!  I think she is also smart enough to figure out that if you flip your teachers breakfast tray onto the floor, mom (whom she KNOWS was not preparing for a work day) will probably come right back to school and pick you up.


In addition to the Sarge (hubby) and Molly Kate, we house 4 pets....2 dogs, Sarge and Mizzy....(yes, I am aware my dog and hubby have the same name) Hattin the Cat & Lucifer ;I have tried not to get too attached to them, them making it easy to achieve that goal for me in the spring with ALL THAT HAIR....but my resume would read..."a lover of animals" right after 100% Mom. 


One of my cats is old, probably 16 yrs or better...Lucifer, the crotchety old overseer of all that enter this home. He rules the puppies as well as any workers or visitors that come into his realm. He prefers grandpa's room now, as it's off limits to little girls, and as much as he loves them his old body doesn't tolerate them too well.


and one fairly young...4 to 5 yrs. The latter is my grand-kitty, leaving home with my eldest for the big city as a tiny kitten, only to return home. His now-over 10 pound size, and inability to cope with Sissy's 18 hour away-from-home days was wearing thin on the both of them...he's a needy thing.  >Hattin the Cat (Shauna came up with that cleaver spoof on Dr Seuss) is quite the clown, and even the crusty ole Sarge (daddy) who vowed to me his dislike of ANY felines has come to refer to him has "his cat" Molly just calls him "Coo" (don't ask, i can't tell you...she calls Old man kitty, Lucifer..."cat cat cat cat CAT!!")


So Monday, I notice that Hattin is not acting his typically irritating self (running by, taking a flying leap and biting my arm, for fun) AND he doesn't want to partake of his nightly treat. (Usually he SCREAMS & trips me until i give him the treat.) So Tuesday morning, I call the kitty doctor, who's up to his whiskers in sick animals, and make an appt...we have to wait for Wed morning...THIS morning, right after i drop Molly at school. I have to guiltily mention at this point about feeling a little grrrrrrrrrrrrrr at the fact that on the ONE day off that didn't involve  an appointment of one kind or the other, BAM, the CAT has to go! 


We got up this morning, and Hattin was not to be found. 


Called the vet, my fear evident in my voice, as I hear his receptionist say "I'M SOOOOOOOO SORRY!" which nearly sends me into tears, but I am super woman, and WILL find this cat if it kills me....and it feels like it nearly did.  Crawling through the woods in the spring is a prickly thing to accomplish. I have found the blackberry patches that are ready to pick, and returned several toys to the fenced yard,  but am scratched to pieces, and probably ate up with chiggers. (something only southerners will understand)


Each time I left to explore a different side of our property and the adjoining sheep pasture, Molly would pull on her shoes and ready herself to help me. "No, Molly, Mommy is looking for Coo, Coo is gone, and you need to stay here with daddy" ,.....and so it continued all day. Mommy was short tempered and focused on a task, and although I wasn't paying attention to Molly too close during this time, she was paying attention to me.


I did take a break and take her swimming, but ventured out soon afterward to explore the woods behind the house. At one point I thought I may have heard one "meow" and did a dash that caused me to sprain an ankle, but never heard it again. 


I finally gave up and came in to soak off the chiggers, (hide/cry in the bathtub) and no sooner had slipped in when there was a knock at the door....and then i heard it....the loud Hattin wail...


Jumping out of the tub and grabbing a towel,  I throw open the door to see the Sarge standing there and cradling a very sick kitty. 


"Where WAS he?"


The Sarge just looks at me and says "I don't know, Molly just walked into my room, and handed him to me"


By the type of dirt that was falling off of him on the vet's examining table, I'm guessing he crawled up under the deck to die.


 He is currently at the kitty hospital staying overnight for observation. Blood tests have cleared him from any fatal, tick-born  illness, and now we just wait for him to recover. 


Yep, that kid of mine is something else........and Very Smart!
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Hattin the Cat died that Saturday night....*sniff* We are so grateful for having him in our lives as long as we did. He was a HOOT!!